ByTheodore Donald Kerabatsos, writer at
I'm a good bowler, and a good man.

Oh, . It's been a hard few months with the RPatz breakup n' all, and now she's playing a very hard-hitting role in Camp X-Ray...

So, things are all a bit dark at the mo for poor KStew. But the outlook's getting she's heading back to college! The highly reputed UCLA, in fact. WHAT?! Our Bella Swan and Hollywood A-lister wants to go to college!?

Yes, according to a most-likely-non-validated source who has said:

"She is already considering a life after film. She never got to complete college and she wants to get a proper education"

Ah, so she's following that trend of female celebrities who get to their early 20's and do that whole 'I missed out on my education for Hollywood' thing! Like ! Or who skedaddled off to Brown (and got bullied to sin for it!). First things first, Kristen won't get bullied. Nobody would dare tease that death stare and anyway...she's doing a distance-learning course!

A distance-learning course? So, she won't be moving into a dorm and having her Mc n' Cheese stolen by a particularly ravenous (and morally vacant) neighbor. There will be no early morning sprints across campus when she's late for a lecture, clad in her PJ's with a ghastly hungover. No, no. She'll be doing her learning away from us mere mortals, so she can continue with her fledgling Hollywood career.

Second question: so what is she studying? It's the course of the dreamer, the thinker and the library-slut: English Literature! Where do we think Kristen's interests lie? Anne Rice, surely?

Okay, just because she's perpetually emo-looking, and starred in a vampire franchise, doesn't mean she's into the gothic books of Rice. Rumor on the grapevine is that Kristen is a 'voracious reader'. I.e...she craves books! Just like you crave a cheeseburger, or the lonely-hearts crave some TLC, or I crave some Mega-Munch, Kristen is a sucker for literature.

So, KStew. The avid reader. So, maybe she'll surprise us all and write a humdinger of a thesis on the role of the patriarchal man in War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. Or maybe she really does like Anne Rice. The death stare doesn't lie!

Who knows? This is an adventure into the unknown for KStew, and one we should all applaud. And one more instance of her moving on from ! Reckon she put that on her application?

Here's the source's final comment:

"Once she's graduated, Kristen will be able to do almost anything she wants, in or out of Hollywood."

ANYTHING? Kristen could undertake a pelvic examination? Or do 5 triple back flip somersault dives? Wow, she's quite the all-rounder isn't she!



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