ByDavid Latona, writer at Creators.co
David Latona

Kristen Stewart is starting to grow impatient. While it's basically been confirmed that she and Robert Pattinson are at it again, after a long-winded reconciliation that took more than a couple of months to prosper, the British thespian doesn't seem to be too keen on shouting their rekindled romance from the rooftops for all the world to hear. KStew apparently wants to set the record straight. Despite a source recently telling Hollywood Life! that Kristen is being "patient with Rob's emotional needs," the actress is slowly starting to get tired of all the secretiveness and separate-cars shtick.

To illustrate this new dynamic, CafeMom author Nicole Fabian-Weber penned a satirical piece which provides us with deep insight into the psyches of the two Hollywood stars. Here it is, in full:


Rob and Kristen are watching TV. After a long beat...

Kristen: You know what I think is so cool? When couples don't hide their relationship. When they just... come out in public with what's going on. It's kind of bad ass, don't you think?

Rob takes a long swig from his beer. Silence.

Kristen: I mean, hiding things is kind of exhausting, right? Always having to cover your tracks, your whereabouts, etc. Going public with a relationship just seems more like an act of convenience, you know? Imagine Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were still hiding their relationship?

Rob closes his eyes and rubs the bridge of his nose. Kristen stares at Rob nervously, then:

Kristen: Do you think Brad Pitt is a good actor?

Rob moves his hands to his temples and begins to massage them.

Kristen: I do. Although, not gonna lie, kinda thought he phoned it in on that last Ocean's movie.

Rob begins massaging his head out of frustration, exaggeratedly rubbing his hair. Kristen is nervous.

Kristen: I mean, I don't want to make our relationship public. Ha ha. I like... having to take separate cars everywhere we go. It mixes it up.

Rob's still rubbing his head.

Kristen: Unless you want to, of course. I'd consider it then. We could, you know, have a dialogue about it.

Rob gets up.

Kristen: I'm pretty against it, though. Just wanna warn you. It'd take a lot to convince me ha ha.

Rob leaves the room.

Kristen: Where are you going?!... Rob?... Babe?

Kristen stares at the TV, crestfallen. She changes the channel.

Kristen: Ooh, Ocean's 13.

End scene.


What do you think? Does it sound like a realistic exchange between the two lovers? Do you think Rob should stop being so shy and come clean about their current relationship? Does the world need to know the status of said relationship in real time? Let us know, in the comments thingy below.

Via CafeMom.

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