OK, OK, so we all know it's Valentine's Day, #50ShadesDarker just came out, and your libido is going absolutely bonkers. But before you chuck on those steely handcuffs and get the whips out, make sure you know what you're doing — unless you want to be prised out of your newly minted BDSM gear by the Fire Brigade (although if that's your thing, you know exactly what you're doing).
It turns out that the London Fire Brigade is blaming the Fifty Shades franchise for the spike in sex game and BDSM-malfunction-related calls they've received over the past five years. The director of operations of the London Fire Bridge, Dave Brown, said:
"We're pleased that fewer people are getting themselves stuck in difficult situations and reducing callouts; however, it seems the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' effect is still leading to some embarrassing callouts."
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According to their stats, the number of people needing to be released from handcuffs has doubled over the past two years (with 102 incidents occurring over the past five, in total). Other calls have included:
- Requests to be released from various rings — including cock rings. (810 cases of the former, 23 cases of the latter.)
- Requests for help extracting male genitals from anything from vacuum cleaners to toasters. Men, eh?
So let this be a warning to all you prospective kinksters out there: If you're planning to get physical this Valentine's Day, make sure you've got your safe word memorized and have read the manual on all your toys — otherwise you might find yourselves staring up the flat end of a riding crop as the (hopefully devilishly handsome, gotta get the consolation prize) Fire Brigade comes charging in.
The second installment in the kinky series, 50 Shades Darker, is currently in cinemas.
Share your embarrassing sex stories in the comments!