ByJancy Richardson, writer at
To avoid fainting, keep repeating 'It's only a movie...It's only a movie...'
Jancy Richardson

You may have heard that did a lovely little dance at the VMAs. To be more specific, Miley emerged from a giant teddy, humped its furry belly like a horny chihuahua, then gyrated with a posse of psychotic Care Bears. Then, her giant tongue proudly erect as a leg of ham, Miley did her best impression of a genetically modified stripper-assassin from the future. I found it pretty hot. The audience were horrified. Take a look at the highlights:

People have been saying that Miley Cyrus was 'twerking' in her performance, but that would involve an actual recognizable dance rather than whatever nymphomaniac stroke she's having here. To be fair, with a body like that, I don't blame her for getting it out and writhing in ecstasy.

Here are some stellar reaction shots. Firstly, 's family. looks like Miley just ate his X-box.

You can always rely on that doyenne of disapproval, . This must be what people mean when they talk about Swiftian satire.

always gives a good stank eye.

You can give as much shade as you want, Rihanna, but you can't shake a stick at Miley's smokin' hot body.

So, in summary: Miley Cyrus is fairly unhinged, but she can feel free to use me like a sweaty Gladiators glove any day. Here's the full, insane, twisted yet bizarrely arousing debacle.


So...what do you think? Miley has possibly made the internet more outraged than it has ever been. Personally, I think it's one of the weirdest things to ever seriously turn me on. Tell us your thoughts. For once, they can hardly be more filthy and inappropriate than the event itself...



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