Now, there are a whole lot of things to love about Milhouse, the true hidden gem within The Simpsons, Fox's increasingly venerable animated crown jewel. Whether it's his eternal optimism in the face of crushing defeat, his tiny, dot-like eyes, or simply the fact that, on some level, we're all Milhouse, he's long-since become the pop culture nerd's pop culture nerd — and an icon to anyone who was once a painfully awkward adolescent.
As it turns out, though, there's more to #Milhouse than the Puppy Goo Goo-loving, fabric softener-coveting car seat-owner whose mom definitely, definitely thinks he's cool. After all...
Milhouse's Secret Origin Weirdly Highlights The Dark Side Of 'The Simpsons'
Y'see, while the vast majority of The Simpsons' iconic characters originated either on the show itself or in the Tracey Ullman Show shorts that first brought the family to life, Milhouse, as in all things, stands alone on the outside, looking in. His first appearance, after all, came not in The Greatest TV Show Of All Time™, but in a Simpsons-themed commercial for Butterfinger.
Which is a) super weird, and b) a perfect example of the dark, creamy underbelly of #TheSimpsons, a show that became iconic partly by being ridiculously great, but also partly by selling an entire generation of kids more merchandise and themed junk food than the average closet (or colon) could possibly handle.
What's more — as Simpsons legend David Silverman recently noted on Facebook — not only did Milhouse fail to make his first appearance in the show itself, but he was originally not even supposed to be a Simpsons character at all. Instead, he was apparently designed for a planned NBC animated series...that NBC swiftly abandoned.
So, not only did Milhouse's first appearance not come in the show proper, but he was originally supposed to appear in an entirely different show (one which, we can only imagine, he would have been given a far more substantial role in) that was quickly kicked to the network TV curb. In other words? Everything very much came up Milhouse, and as any true Simpsons fan knows, that's never a good thing.
Is this, then, what it feels like when doves cry?
Yes. Yes it is.
Still want more horrifying truths related to The Simpsons? Never fear, Donald Trump is lurking right over here.
In the meantime, though, what do you think? Would you rather have seen Milhouse turn up in another show, or is his role in The Simpsons already closer to perfection than anything has any right to be? Let us know below!