ByJancy Richardson, writer at
To avoid fainting, keep repeating 'It's only a movie...It's only a movie...'
Jancy Richardson

There's been a lot of hoo-ha about the Miss America title going to Indian-American Nina Davuluri rather than gun-toting army gal Theresa Vail.

Can't we all just get along? And think about some fictitious movies they could be in together?

1) The Miss America Games

Instead of the more traditional Miss America spectacle, the contest is set in a dystopian future where all entrants must kill each other. Naturally, Theresa Vail slaughters everyone as she's the only one who knows how to use a bow.

2) Miss Congeniality 3: Theresa's Tiara

In a twist on the Sandra Bullock classic, army Seargeant Theresa Vail must infiltrate a beauty pageant in order to bring down some bad guys. Wait...I think this actually happened! Did you see any armed rebels take down the Miss America Pageant? I rest my case.

3) Theresa and Nina

The Miss America contestants go on a one-way road trip together, and it's a bit of a weepie. There are tears as the bonds of friendship prove stronger than any other. Naturally, Theresa blows away any jerk who tries to mess with her travelling companion. Then they drive off a cliff.

4) Gentlemen...Don't Prefer Blondes

In this updated take on the vintage musical, Kansas and America are two girls in the pageant business, until the judges are forced to pick between them. Wild mudslinging between uninformed voices on the internet ensues. It's not as good as the Marilyn Monroe version, to be honest.

5) Bambi 2: Enter Miss Kansas

This is not a very long movie.

I would like to see these movies made. Hollywood better listen up.



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