There's something so larger-than-life and purposely exaggerated about the world of comic books that the idea that superheroes have sex feels kind of ridiculous. And yet they do, and some of them — particularly the billionaires who fly by night — are in possession of a particularly potent sexual libido.
The pages of #DC Comics have given rise to their fare share of sex scenes over the years. Some have been sexy by the regular definition, others bizarre or twisted, and several quite explicit by comic book standards. Let's take a dive into the abyss to look at five of DC's most graphic sex scenes.
1. Batman Forgoes His Discipline For Talia al Ghul
Depending on who you ask –– which Batman comic you read or what side of bed the Caped Crusader woke up on –– Bruce Wayne has an entire roulette wheel of soulmates. In Hush, for instance, he's all about Selina Kyle. But in Son Of The Demon, the 1987 graphic novel penned by Mike W. Barr (and often described as the greatest Ra's al Ghul story of all), Bruce only has eyes for one woman, and her name is Talia.
Talia really must be a demon between the sheets, because Bruce becomes so risk-averse in his other nocturnal activities that he starts to endanger his own life, being too preoccupied with the prospect of beginning a family with the daughter of Ra's. In the end, she leaves him with a tale of a miscarriage, and then gives birth to a baby boy in secret. It's all very sad.
That belt, though, Bruce?
2. Silk Spectre's Three-Way Surprise
Sorry, but I had to.
There's nothing sexy whatsoever about this panel from Alan Moore's celebrated, non-canon DC graphic novel Watchmen. "Laurie! Don't be upset! I'm sorry, I thought you would enjoy it...", Doctor Manhattan stumbles after discovering that splitting himself into two during sex might not be the greatest way to pleasure Silk Spectre after all.
That said, the whole sex scene looks relatively sane when compared to that notorious sex scene from Zack Snyder's Watchmen movie, in which Silk Spectre and Nite-Owl do the nasty to the tune of classic sex jam 'Hallelujah' by Leonard Cohen.
If you were successful in wiping the horror from your memory, relive it below...
... and weep.
3. Batman And Catwoman Feel The Burn
Upon first glance, this panel from Catwoman #1 is legitimately quite sexy. For context, Catwoman's apartment has just gone up in a cloud of ash and her nerves are a little jangled. When Batman turns up at her hotel to check on her, they have an intimate moment.
They're so eager to get down to it that our heroes don't bother taking their clothes off. Sure, that's not weird if you're wearing a t-shirt, but a PVC catsuit and a heavy cape? Leather headgear that tips the whole thing over into the realm of fetishism, giving the whole thing a live-exhibit-in-a-window-of-the-Amsterdam-red-light-district vibe? That's bizarre.
Let's not even talk about the weird, blobby mass of skin which is presumably meant to be Bruce Wayne's tight abs, or Catwoman's weirdly erect toe.
Add in the fact that Batman actually knows Catwoman is Selina Kyle, but she doesn't know he knows, and she doesn't know that he is Bruce Wayne, and you have the recipe for one fucked-up dynamic between two people who probably shouldn't be having sex.
More sexy antics from Marvel and DC:
- (Se)X-Men: A Deep Dive Into The Very Colorful Sex Life Of Jean Grey
- Wonder Woman's Secret Fetish & More Weird Sex In DC Comics
- Hawkeye Banged A Robot? Even More Freaky Comic Book Sex
4. The Classic Post-Funeral Bang
One of the common characteristics of horny superheroes is that they seem to have an unfortunate habit of picking entirely the wrong moment to succumb to their more carnal urges. One of the quintessential examples of this is that unforgettable time Emma Frost seduced a grieving Scott Summers on Jean Grey's grave, but DC also have a fine entrant in the very niche post-funeral bang stakes.
Enter, Red Arrow and Cheshire.
Inability to perform is every man's worst nightmare, but Roy Harper was really asking for it when he decided the immediate aftermath of his daughter's burial was the right time to jump into bed with Jade Nguyen. Unsurprisingly, Roy does not appreciate Jade's armchair psychiatrist routine.
The panel is taken from Justice League: The Rise Of Arsenal #3, and with dialogue like "You're a skilled assassin, but as a mother, you sucked!", and a panel in which Roy confuses the carcass of a cat for his dead daughter (classic mistake!), it's no shock that this particular issue is considered one of the very worst comic books produced by DC this side of the new millennium.
5. Batman The One-Minute Wonder
The Batman of Frank Miller's All Star Batman And Robin is a world-class narcissist who clearly gets around, and this sexually-charged encounter between the Bat and Black Canary clearly pays homage to Watchmen in Miller's decision to have the vigilantes stay masked during sex immediately after taking out a gang of criminals.
It starts off pretty smoothly, even if Batman's assessment of Canary's smoker breath is a little strange (he hasn't kissed a smoker "in weeks?" Brother's slackin' ...).
Although, as ever, Batman can't resist comparing his latest victim with the one-and-only Catwoman...
What happens next, though, is a genuinely interesting turn of events which takes an unusually deep-dive into sexual politics. So many of the scenes in this comic span multiple pages or even issues that the sex being over in a flash, literally, must clearly have some narrative significance.
If you interpret the lightning bolt as a metaphor for the sheer speed with which Batman is in and out, it's no surprise that Canary — having previously been falling over herself to tell the Bat how "totally hot" he is — then changes her attitude on a dime.
The argument about the car is trivial on the surface but actually seems to be both an outlet for Batman to seize hold of some mistaken notion of "masculinity", and for Canary to vent her frustration at the realization that Batman is a total one-minute man. If she can't tell him he was a crap lay, she can at least pass judgment on his wheels in a way guaranteed to cut him down to size.
The whole sequence is genius in its non-verbalized presentation of Batman as a man with serious over-compensation and under-performance issues, perhaps even making sense of why he behaves like such an asshole throughout All Star.
Which other memorable DC sex scenes are burned onto your retinas?