BySam Plank, writer at
"You have to be what you are. Whatever you are, you gotta be it." -Johnny Cash. Tweet a tweeter at my twitty twitter, @tw1tterintw1t
Sam Plank

We need to , but we can only do it if we're . Blah, blah, blah.

If you're one of the trillions of Americans from one of the 57 states in America like me, you're getting pretty sick of the circus we have going on right now that's disguised as a presidential race. What's one thing you can do if you're annoyed at what's happening on TV, no matter how important it may be to the future of this great nation? You fire up HBO or your Blu-ray player and watch yourself a movie!

Since we're right in the middle of the mud-slinging, finger-waving good time that happens before every presidential election, let's talk about fictional comedy movie presidents. Before, they just made us laugh. But now, they make us wonder...can we vote for them instead?

1. Cam Brady - 'The Campaign' (2012)

  • Played by: Will Ferrell

Watch this movie again, and tell me that you aren't surprised that Trump hasn't yet punched a baby, or that Bill hasn't admitted at the dinner table to Hillary that he let an intern lick his lollipop at the petting zoo.

Trump getting bit by a snake, a photo of Hillary holding up a big yoga ball with her legs, all that I can handle. But if one of them tries to seduce the other's spouse in an attempt to make a freaky sex video, that's when I'm moving to Nopeville, Screwthisifornia.

2. Marty Huggins - 'The Campaign' (2012)

  • Played by: Zach Galifianakis

And let's not forget Marty Huggins, either. Having Will or Zach as president would be terrible, yet hilarious. Zach already has schmoozed with Secretary Clinton herself, so he's on his way!

3. President Rathcock - 'Machete Kills' (2013)

  • Played by: Charlie Sheen

What this guy did in four years, no president has done in our 240 years of American history. He built Trump's wall, made pot legal, and he hired Machete to take out his enemies, something Hillary would be mighty, mighty proud of (I kid, I kid, please don't kill me).

4. President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho - 'Idiocracy' (2006)

  • Played by: Terry Crews

Terry Crews' President Dwayne gives you his word that he has a plan. His plan is a good plan, one might even say a tremendous plan, and it involves Joe Bauers. Joe Bauers is going to fix everything. We don't know how he'll fix everything and neither does President Dwayne, but President Dwayne's plan is a good plan, and good plans always work!

5. President James Dale - 'Mars Attacks!' (1996)

  • Played by: Jack Nicholson

Instead of building a wall to keep out the aliens, Jack Nicholson's President James wants to break down barriers, work out their differences, and quote Rodney King for the umpteenth time in cinema. An alien tear and handshake later, he may be dead, his body claimed by the Martians and their flag, but his cheesy words live on.

6. President Baxter Harris - 'Scary Movie 4' (2006)

  • Played by: Leslie Nielsen

While some would say it was an extremely poor decision to stay around to hear what happened to the duck, later, after all aliens were gone, they would look back and say that it was good of him not to alarm the children. Except of course, he alarmed the children about a dozen times before leaving and muttering something about an abortion bill. I'd still totally vote for him, though.

Honorable Mention: Lex Luthor - 'Smallville'

  • Played by: Michael Rosenbaum

The least funny entry of this list, with Lex, well, sometimes you just have to take the bad with the good. Sure, he would be a murderous, womanizing, manipulative, land-grabbing (and other thing-grabbing) psychopath, but Lex Luthor would bring to the White House what no other president has ever been able to do since Eisenhower.

Epic bald awesome sauce.

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