Whether you turn to them for escapism, pure enjoyment or simply because you're in love with the leading actor, movies cast a magical spell over their audience which is difficult to replicate anywhere else. However, they also provide a lesser known function, acting at times like brutally honest, agony aunts.
Yes, that's right, more so than the insightful words of wisdom dripping from the dry innards of a fortune cookie, movies have given us some of the greatest pieces of life advice and often, when we've least expected it. In honor of cinema being a guiding light to all who are lost or otherwise, here are the greatest pieces of advice we've ever received from watching the movies.
"I shall call him Squishy. And he shall be mine.”
- Advice: Embrace your muffin top for it is part of you, and you are part of it.
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get."
- Advice: Always read the label and get yourself informed ahead of time.
"Show me the money!”
- Advice: Demand to get paid for that unpaid, thankless internship dammit!
'The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers'
"The filthy little thieves. Where is it? Where is it? They stole it from us. My precious."
- Advice: But at the same time, learn to accept that taxes are just a part of the natural order of things.
"I’m in a glass case of emotion."
- Advice: Come to realize that the shower is the perfect place to release pent up feelings.
"I am big! It's the pictures that got small.”
- Advice: It's probably time to go for that eye test.
"I don't understand. All my life I've been waiting for someone and when I find her, she's ... she's a fish.”
- Advice: If you end up discovering more fulfillment with your aquarium then in your romantic relationships, that's ok.
"They may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!”
- Advice: Even though it may feel like it, your boss doesn't own you, and they never will.
“Everything I think and everything I do is wrong.”
- Advice: Be realistic about your goals and aspirations. Know your limits.
"That'll do pig. That'll do."
- Advice: Learn there is no better time than the present to stop drunkenly texting your ex.
"God gave men brains larger than dogs' so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.”
- Advice: Always keep some perspective when in the dating game.
'The Wizard Of Oz'
“There’s no place like home.”
- Advice: After a night spent drinking yourself into a dark stupor and flopping around in desperation on the dance floor, you'll soon come to realize a better time would've been had if you'd just never left your home.
'The Lion King'
"Asante sana squash banana."
- Advice: Never underestimate the power of a squashed banana.
'The Devil Wears Prada'
"Alright everyone, gird your loins!"
- Advice: If nothing else, aim to one day enter a room with this sentence preceding your entrance.
“It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me."
- Advice: Even if you're a horrible human, you can still help an old lady cross the road.
"I wish I knew how to quit you."
- Advice: Invest in that e-cigarette today.
"My life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen."
- Advice: Abba will always be relevant, not matter who you are, where you are or what you are.
'Star Wars: A New Hope'
"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.”
- Advice: Know when, how and who to ask for help when you need it.
"I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!”
- Advice: Learn that sometimes, using these immortal lines is the only way to get through to customer support.
"You talkin' to me?"
- Advice: Always be sure someone is actually addressing you before responding. Although, maybe not with a gun.