Neil deGrasse Tyson may have quite the cult following, but he's probably not the person you'd want to invite over for a movie marathon. Why? Because he finds it incredibly hard to take off his scientist hat and suspend his disbelief for even the most outlandish sci-fi film.
In case you weren't aware, ruining fun is kind of his thing. DeGrasse Tyson has science-splained everything from The Walking Dead to Batman v Superman. But if pointing out the fact that zombies aren't scientifically accurate wasn't unnecessary enough, deGrasse Tyson has now taken it upon himself to debunk the outlandish science of this summer's biggest movies— including Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.
Watch Out, Neil deGrasse Tyson's Got A Soap Box Over Here!
DeGrasse Tyson recently took to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to flex his brain and prove just how ridiculous Hollywood movies are. Along with #GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2, upcoming releases Alien: Covenant and even Baywatch were put under the microscope for a factual analysis. Who'd have thought a movie about shirtless lifesavers could be held under such close scrutiny?
'Alien: Covenant' Is Inaccurate— But Not Like You'd Think
Horror movies are rife with characters who make poor decisions, and that seems to only get worse when sci-fi is involved. But according to deGrasse Tyson, the worst culprits aren't Covenant's naive space explorers but the the film's team of writers.
Ignoring the disturbing fact that deGrasse Tyson doesn't actually discredit the existence of a bloodthirsty alien species, Covenant's premise is essentially a solid concept rooted in a very flawed plan. According to deGrasse Tyson, attempting to colonize an entirely new planet with "just a few fertile couples" isn't actually far-fetched. Apparently, only 12 families birthed the entire population of North and South America— which is both surprising and a little disturbing.
However, that doesn't take away from the fact that Covenant's cute couples shouldn't even be on that mission in the first place:
"There is no sensible space mission that's gonna send humans to a planet before we send robots."
In fact, he goes on to say, "I don't know what they're doing there", and is none too pleased at the trend of space movies that end in disaster. Perhaps he should steer well clear of the entire Alien trilogy and stick to the original Star Wars trilogy instead?
(Most Of) 'Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2' Should Be A Silent Movie
"We've known from the very first movie in the 'Alien' series that in space, no one can hear you scream. And if no one can hear you scream, no one can hear you explode, either."
Really, Neil? Really? It wasn't the emotional revelations or the super cheesy humor that put him off Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, but the fact that explosions in a Marvel movie were audible. In fact, it disturbed him so much that he claims that he "used to lose sleep over this."
Granted, he did admit that he was willing to overlook "all the science you're getting wrong" if the film contained enough other compelling elements to "distract" him, which may or may not include: "a walking, talking tree; a raccoon that will insult you" and "a green woman":
The Rock Can Do No Wrong
Nothing and no one is safe from deGrasse Tyson's critiques; not even Dwayne #TheRock Johnson. Strangely, his analysis of the physics in that fridge-carrying competition scene in Baywatch somehow works as a compliment to Johnson's sheer strength:
"He's strong enough, he could easily carry two refrigerators. I bet they're not even fake. Why wasn't it three?"
Wait, why did Guardians get such a scathing analysis while Baywatch got off easily? Well, it would appear that even this critical scientist is a big fan of The Rock:
"Who doesn't love them some Dwayne Johnson, right?"