As you saw in American Pie, the average teenage boy likes to put his penis in things.
However, a New Hampshire teen Twitter user named 'Thot Pocket' spurned the traditional apple pie and decided to jam his johnson into a hot pocket. Look!
He not only abused the unfortunate snack, but posted a video of his pocket- penetration online! Vine and Twitter took his videos down, but the attention-seeking perv just reposted.
Pop Tarts were another unfortunate victim of this snack-humper. Reminds me of the time we had mice.
Despite his literal take on 'pounding the pud,' this guy is clearly seeking fame rather than sex for his kicks - well, maybe a little touch of both...
And what wisdom did this teen learn from putting extra meat in a hot pocket?
I tried doing it without a condom and it was just, like, way too hot...I’d recommend f*ckin’ a Hot Pocket probably.
Listen up, kids: always use a condom when having intercourse with a snack foods.