Have you ever experienced something so unbelievably weird and ridiculous that it somehow comes full circle to being amazing? That's happening right now. Buckle up, ladies, gentlemen, and creatures of the night, because (while I can't grasp exactly how or why this happened) Rob Lowe and his two sons, Matthew and John Owen, are embarking on a journey to hunt down monsters, ghosts and aliens for a new reality TV series for A&E, #TheLoweFiles.
"This can't be real, Lowe's staging the entire thing for comedy... right?" you ask in utter disbelief. But I assure you, it is not!
Step Aside, Winchester Bros, Lowe Is On The Case
This isn't a joke. The actor is actually going monster-hunting with his kids, and he's making a show about it, and there is a trailer to prove it. Check it out:
The footage –– which I can confidently describe as being one of the weirder things in my life currently –– features Lowe and his children hunting down spooky apparitions, a questionable lightsaber-like duel with flashlights (because everyone knows that's what you do with flashlights) and, most importantly, a heavy dose of "What in the actual hell did I just watch?" According to Lowe, the answer to that question is "what you'd get if you put Anthony Bourdain in a blender with Scooby Doo."
We're getting a nine-episode first season for this beauty, in which the trio will enter haunted houses, meet experienced shamans, and even explore an ocean-based alien base. The thrill-seeking family will deal with a poltergeist in the pilot episode, as Lowe explained to Entertainment Weekly:
"Our first episode is about poltergeists in one of the most notoriously haunted structures in America. Nothing is staged, nothing is trick-cut — no B.S. I believe there are probably ghosts out there."
In case this isn't all extra enough, worry not, because the story doesn't end there... Folks, I never thought I'd say this, but let's just get it out there: #RobLowe was almost beaten up by a Sasquatch.
Hunting Monsters... One Sasquatch At A Time
Yep, that (allegedly) happened. According to the actor, he had an altercation with the Ozark Mountains version of the mythical creature, the wood ape, and things understandably didn't so didn't go well for him:
"We had an incredible encounter with what locals call the wood ape, which is in the Ozark Mountains. I’m fully aware that I sound like a crazy, Hollywood kook right now [...] A wood ape is the local vernacular for a Sasquatch or a Bigfoot."
He didn't go into detail about the ordeal, but he did say he was lying on the ground, thinking he would be killed. Fortunately for him, several armed men with military backgrounds stepped in to help:
"We’re 100 miles from the nearest town. We spent 45 minutes on the most rugged, brutal mountain trails. It’s 1 in the morning. There are a lot of serious former military men with loaded weapons, then something starts approaching our camps that is defying their orders to stop and their warnings that [they were] armed."
So, after this bundle of madness, one wonders what led the actor to come up with this idea. As it turns out, it all stemmed from his Fox Mulder-like desire to believe in the fantastical elements our fair plane of existence has to offer:
"My guilty pleasures are 'Ancient Aliens' and 'Finding Bigfoot.' I don’t hate-watch them, but I also don’t watch them as a total believer. I watch them hoping to believe, because a world in which Bigfoot exists and aliens exist, to me, is more interesting and fun. That’s the spirit of our show."
Now, I'm no paranormal expert, but since the Lowe clan doesn't seem to be either, I have some advice based on my embarrassingly extensive sci-fi knowledge: Always stay close to each other, bring a wooden stake everywhere, carry a considerable amount of salt and a silver object, and just in case the aliens you may or may not encounter have the same weakness as the ones in Signs, always have water handy.
The me of a few years ago would have thought this was a prank, but it's 2017. After the batcrap crazy the last year has offered, Rob Lowe hunting monsters alongside his kids just seems like a natural evolution for our society.
Think about it: In 20 years, we'll be able to tell future generations about the existence paranormal reality show starring Rob Lowe and his two kids. If that isn't history in the making, I don't know what is. The Lowe Files hits the small screen on August 2, 2017.
What will Rob Lowe encounter in the Lowe Files? Let me know your guess in the comments!
(Source: Entertainment Weekly)