On Saturday, hosted a wild birthday party for his director friend at his home in LA. I guess my invite must have got lost in the post - sorry I couldn't make it, Rob!
Despite my absence tearing the social fabric apart at the seams, Hollywood's great and good managed to have a brilliant time - spotted at the party were the lovely , , Fifty Shades of Grey writer E.L James, my dream best pal, and literary misogynist/genius (who penned a little novel you might have heard of called American Psycho in the early 90s and now seems to spend his time baiting gay rights groups via Twitter).
Another guest tweeted that there was a Great Gatsby theme and roughly 100 guests.
If you're wondering what Bret Easton Ellis was doing rubbing shoulders with Heather Graham at a costume party of a Saturday night, that's cos his new boyfriend Todd Michael Schultz was in attendance. Todd Michael Schultz, a self-defined "f*cking popstar" (as opposed to a winsome singer-songwriter type) got crazy smug all over Twitter.
He described the event as "a real freakin' party." He continued, "Everywhere you turn, someone super smart and talented and interesting to talk to. Rob Pattinson is a really cool guy. It's good not to lose sight of basic kindness."
"Kristen Stewart was not at the party as far as I know..."
Heather Graham even published a snap of Moby with E.L. James at the party on Twitter, tweeting "A fun party looking at the super moon with Moby @thelittleidiot and EL James @ELJames".
I did a little investigative journalism AKA googling about Todd, and you guys, I cannot imagine him together with Bret Easton Ellis, writer of horrible rape scenes that mean you'll never look at a cupcake in the same way again. Todd writes a wholesome blog on tea where he pens painfully sincere things like "Tea is the icing on the cake of life. It's what gives you endurance to deal with all of the stressing activities we take on. It gives you health. And that should be enough to make you happy." Hmmh. The LA dating scene just gets weirder and weirder.
Here's a trailer for The Canyons, a movie Bret Easton Ellis recently penned, starring and porn star . The Canyons is coming out on August 2 in New York and August 9 in the rest of the US. It looks deliciously schlocky, which I guess is the point.