Come closer, my pretties, because the fated day has finally come. You shall finally know the secrets of Robert Pattinson's mouth taste, but unless you're British, it will probably still remain somewhat of a mystery.
In a candid new interview with W Magazine, Robert Pattinson stares directly into our eyes (sorry, the camera) and tells us all about his first kiss. Naturally, this being RPatz, the description was oozing with his trademark self-depreciating charm:
"It was on the roof of a building around the corner from my house in London. [I was] 11 or 12. That’s quite old, isn’t it? I guess it was a girlfriend. We used to walk home from school together. And I remember being like, ‘What does my mouth taste like?’”
But, what exactly does #RobertPattinson's mouth taste like, I hear you cry. Marmite, apparently. After parting lips with his first ever smooching partner, Rob remembers asking:
“Does it taste like marmite?”
Who said romance is dead?
Unfortunately, the high school romance wasn't meant to be. I'm going to speculate this is because Rob was a real weirdo who essentially asked her what flavor his tongue was:
“I think we dated for a bit until it was revealed to me… She was like, ‘Oh, no. I started dating someone else.’ I’m like, ‘Wait, what?!’”
For those of you who have just skimmed the last paragraph thinking "what the eff is Marmite?" buckle down, because you are lucky enough to have a true enthusiast on your hands and I will show you the way.
Marmite is basically salty, brown yeast tar that you spread on your toast in the mornings — if you're a person of taste. Despite the fact that it sounds repellant, half of the UK population is fervently devoted to the vitamin B-enriched goop, while half want to throw it deep into the bowels of the ocean forever. It's reassuring to know RPatz is part of the good tribe.
Would you kiss RPatz even if he tasted like marmite? Discuss.
(Source: W Magazine)