Being a celebrity can be hard. When you're not busy being hounded down by the paparazzi and having your life brutally invaded by aggressive journalists, you're struggling to escape the basement of your fellow famous peers.
- OMG! Katy Perry's New Haircut Looks Just Like Justin Bieber's!
- Man Discovers Chilling Remnants of Satanic Worship in His Basement
- Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom Have Broken Up But It's Totally Chill
It All Started With An Aggressive Tweet
In the aftermath of Katy tragically splitting up from her infamously well-endowed Pirates of the Carribean bae, Orland Bloom, rumors have been running rife that the Californian firework has been shacking up with Ryan 'Cruel Intentions' Phillippe instead.
However, Ryan was so affronted by the accusations that he'd been chaining himself to Perry's wild rhythms that he took to Twitter, in caps locks, to set the record straight.
Proclaiming to the world that he hardly even knew Katy, that she was not at his place and that the helicopters should consequently call off their search, Ryan felt he'd gotten away with his dirty little secret. How wrong he was.
Ryan Couldn't Hide His Dirty Little Secret From The Twitter Army
As Ryan should know, on the internet, there's nowhere to hide, and if you capitalize your Tweets it means either than you're either passionately angry, a grandparent who doesn't understand caps-lock, or you have something to hide. The internet decided Ryan was the latter.
Calling him out for sounding suspicious and as though he not only knew Katy Perry but that he was actually keeping her in his basement, Ryan was met with a sea of accusatory Tweets — and then Katy waded in.
Katy Perry Sent An S.O.S. Tweet From Ryan's Basement
A day after Ryan's Tweet, Katy finally managed to get some signal and Tweeted an S.O.S from Ryan's basement, kindly asking him to let her roam free — however her Tweet was not answered kindly:
But Katy's Real Problem Was More Flatulent Than Ryan Had Anticipated
But then, in a further twist to the Twitter tale, Katy retracted her plea for help and instead, introduced herself to Ryan, insinuating that she'd never been trapped in his basement, that the two barely knew each other and that the whole thing was a hilarious joke.
What was not a joke however, was the Tweet Katy made but a day later highlighting that it wasn't being trapped in a basement that was giving her grief, but trapped wind: