In a world filled with pain, suffering and Gwyneth Paltrow it can be difficult to remember the existence of good, but then you remember Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor’s majestic relationship and suddenly everything becomes right again. Known for their apparently shocking age-difference and tweeting (and retweeting) ridiculously adorable posts of love to each other, we knew that Sarah’s much-hyped appearance at the Emmy’s was only going to add fuel to the flames of their burning inferno of love — especially if she won, and *spoilers,* she did.
Like all good love stories, the two were separated by uncontrollable forces. Unable to attend the ceremony with her beloved, Holland was hauled up in New York for the dress rehearsals of stage production The Front Page, making her almost three thousand miles away from Sarah and her divine emerald gown. But, thanks to the great miracle of technology, the two managed to transcended space and time before our very eyes, demonstrating that true love knows no bounds as they communicated via live television, Twitter and through the language of each others souls. Here’s how they did it.
It Started With A Tweet
Proving herself to be a masterful social media magician, Holland kicked things off with a simple pre-Emmy tweet which revealed the following:
- That she wouldn’t be joining her adored at the ceremony.
- That she was excited.
- That there is no circumstance under which she would not want to eagerly devour her love.
- That Sarah’s dress was worth blaspheming about.
This was shortly followed by a second tweet in which she asked God why he thought it necessary to make the sacred day of the Emmy’s so hot, which she furnished with an ironic off-trend hashtag, #NeverFails.
Then, came the poetry.
In an image we believe Sarah privately sent to Holland showing either her intensive pre-Emmy beauty regime or some kinky Man in the Iron Mask role play, Holland put her wisdom to good use and managed to use the word ‘superfluous,’ perhaps for the first time ever, in a Tweet.
Queue Holland Embodying The Term ‘Crazy In Love’
A few hours later it was clear that Holland was not holding up well with the pressure, the excitement or the separation anxiety.
Beginning her fourth Tweet with a line which wouldn’t be out of place in The Bell Jar, she then left a dramatic pause before tagging the #Emmys, digitally simulating the wail of a baby and tagging her love before ending with an image of what appeared to be a man-sized ice cream.
Tweets No.5, 6 and 7:
Then followed a series of Tweets which were either exclamations of divine ecstasy, surprise or the beginnings of a heart attack.
The latter of which was unfortunately confirmed by 73-year-old Holland, but not without reason. Her 'cardiac arrest' was attributed to the fact that she managed to snap this rather disturbing image of Sarah and Marcia Clark apparently lurking in the shadows of the red carpet as their bodies alarmingly conjoined as one, like Bette and Dot Tattler.
Bette and Dot Tattler, one of the many roles that Sarah (wrongly) didn't win an Emmy for:
Sarah Responds - Live From The Red Carpet
A Message to Holland:
Managing to un-fuse herself from Marcia Clark who she portrayed in The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, Sarah nimbly sent a message to her ice-cream devouring, heart attack enduring lover at the end of her red carpet interview with E! and carefully clarified that her love was being directed to her partner, not the country of clogs, tulips and windmills:
Twitter Welcomes A Brave New CAPS LOCK World:
Naturally this sent Holland, the person, into a wild frenzy. Caps lock was used not once but a colossal FOUR TIMES in her Twitter response, as were five question marks and seven exclamation marks.
It was as though we had entered a universe in which grammar and the finer complexities of the English language no longer mattered and all that existed was Sarah and Holland and their divine love for one and other. Welcome, BRAVE NEW WORLD!!!!!??
And Then, Sarah Won. Chaos Ensued.
The Acceptance Speech:
Dedicating her award to the woman she portrayed and was speculatively physically attached to previously on the red carpet Sarah, and the world, teared up when she gave Marcia Clark, the prosecutor in O.J. Simpson’s 1994 trial, an apology on behalf of the world saying:
"I, along with the rest of the world, had been superficial in my judgment, and I'm glad that I'm able to stand here in front of everyone today and say, I'm sorry.”
But not even Marcia’s incredibly long walk to justice could make Sarah lose focus of her adored partner, finishing her acceptance speech by simply stating:
Holland Switches Channels:
In response to Sarah’s fabulous Emmy win, Holland cheered on her success with a flurry of excited YESES - some capitalized, some not, and three triumphant shout-outs of Marcia’s name - some spelt correctly, some not. #whoismaria
This was then shortly followed by a Tweet asserting that she had, finally, located the TV remote:
The Emmy's Aftermath
Holland is left alone and 'swooning:'
In perhaps the most concerning tweet of the evening Holland lets us know the following:
- That she is still stuck in New York.
- That this is now possibly a cry for help as she seems genuinely unable to escape the city.
- That’s she’s still suffering from shortness of breath.
But still able to focus on what matters in life:
Thankfully, Holland managed to put her own impending life crises aside, retweeting Sarah's absolutely glorious image which depicts the magnificent reflections of her bejeweled dress on the ceiling of her post-Emmy Uber which, if we’re being honest, is an experience we can all relate too.
Are Sarah and Holland the epitome of true love?