If you've had an accident that probably wasn't your fault, why not make a personal injury claim? Breaking Bad's Saul Goodman is here to offer priceless advice on turning your accidents into dead presidents.
The modern vehicular industry is not what it once was, and many of my more mutilated patients are often the victim of an automobile-based accident. Car manufacturers will pay through the nose to avoid associating their brand with bone-crunching agony.
In today's culture of health and fitness, it's imperative that you, the consumer, are supplied with safety-tested equipment. If you launch your uncoordinated, morbidly obese frame onto a new piece of workout machinery without reading the instructions, is that your fault? Of course not. Call Saul.
Mud, trees and other natural hazards
The great outdoors - or, as I like to call it, the great deathtrap - is notorious for causing a vast number of personal injuries. With my help, this client successfully sued the American Outdoors for an undisclosed, out-of-court settlement before the dust had settled.
Mis-sold consumer goods
Yowza, sister, that's gotta hurt. Beauty may mean pain, but not this much. If you have been supplied with footwear that is a threat to life and limb, Saul is on hand to organise a suitable sum in compensation. I am highly experienced in the field of malfunctioning garmentry, from shoddy shoes to poorly-ventilated crotchless panties.
Improper use of public spaces
Why would someone set up a deadly tripwire at your local tea dance? This is just the kind of carelessness that costs the American taxpayer millions of dollars in medical bills and legal fees. With my expert help, my client was able to attribute her shattered pelvis to an overly-waxed floor and unmarked trip hazard.
In summary, Goodman is a good man for you. The next time you suffer and injury to your person, Better Call Saul.