ByAlisha Grauso, writer at
Editor-at-large here at Movie Pilot. Nerd out with me on Twitter, comrades: @alishagrauso
Alisha Grauso

Selena, Selena, Selena. Girl, come here. We need to talk.

Listen, I get it. Being a 20-year-old girl ain't no easy thang, especially when it comes to love. I know; I was there, and I was a ball of stupid. I know, the nice guys seem too smothering and clingy and the douchebags are the ones you're strangely attracted to, even when you're and famous and have a team full of people around you telling you this is probably not a great idea.

Because, trust me, you know and I know that is a douchebag, through and through. Look, even your friends aren't happy with the reports that you flew to Norway to get your hook up on with your ex. Seriously, if you thought you could keep your flying to Oslo on Thursday a secret, or that we wouldn't also know Bieber was there for a concert, you were wrong.

And I get it. You seem like a sweet girl with a big heart, so I can understand why your ex's complete meltdown post-breakup has you worried. Since you kicked his ass to the curb, he has: Been chronically late to shows, posted angry, selfish rants to Twitter, been speeding like an idiot in his car, become a party boy, making stupid comments about a Holocaust survivor, and assaulting his neighbors for daring to want him to act like an adult. And he's an idiot, but I understand that you loved him so you're concerned about him now.

But lots of guys have their hearts broken and don't act like douchenozzles. Most, even. Seriously, he's a douche. I know it, your friends know it, and, deep-down, I hope you know it, too. So all I'm saying is, hey, if there's some complicated, unfinished business there and you need to hook up with him for a while to get him out of your system, I totally understand. But girl, if you are even for a second entertaining the idea that you might get back together with him seriously, I'm going to have to say oh, HELL no.

I mean, we already have one crappy role model for young girls everywhere when it comes to love. Don't you be another one.


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