ByJancy Richardson, writer at
To avoid fainting, keep repeating 'It's only a movie...It's only a movie...'
Jancy Richardson

The Night's Watch take no wife, but there isn't anything in their code preventing them from sleeping with sex-robots during those cold, lonely nights on The Wall, right?

Whether you get your relief from watching vicious bastards die or from 1,000 lying whores, get ready for the latest innovation in the lucrative sex doll industry: a Daenerys Targaryen sex doll. CEO of RealDoll sex doll company Matt McMullen enthused about the idea to the Daily Star:

"When we immerse ourselves in the world of 'Game of Thrones' — we are suspending this belief long enough to watch the show.

She’s this very mysterious character and people like to follow that. It would be very important to have the costume and the hair accurate — that kind of thing just makes the character. It’s what makes them identifiable.

It frees us from all the traditional constraints that we have in the ‘real world’"

I'd rather have a giant Brienne-of-Tarth-bot with the driving force of an industrial pile driver, but that may just be me.

Of course, despite Matt's enthusiasm, he can't make his Mother of Jizzrags Fuck-puppet until HBO give him permission, which is about as likely as Hodor coming back to life and taking up a Zumba class with Drogon and Hot Pie.

If you are interested in a RealDoll, for only $6,000 you can buy a floppy rubber fake human to hump, its unseeing eyes glazed lifelessly as you strenuously slam into its unfeeling crevices. Happy shopping!


Would you bone a Daenerys-shaped sex robot?

If all that sex doll stuff left you feeling a little sullied, watch a nice video of Daenerys and Drogon setting things on fire:

[Daily Star, All images: HBO]


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