ByJancy Richardson, writer at
To avoid fainting, keep repeating 'It's only a movie...It's only a movie...'
Jancy Richardson

Last night, Shia LaBeouf was weirder than ever before, walking the red carpet at the Berlin Film Festival with this on his head.

Like I say, really weird.

With this one bizarre act, Shia forced us to pick a side.

No longer can we sit idly by and watch. No, we need to decide - as a people, as a country, as A PLANET - just what the hell is going on with Shia LaBeouf.

Here are your options. Choose Wisely.

1. Shia LaBeouf: MASSIVE DICK

Maybe he's just a massive, enormous dick.

This is the simplest solution. Suddenly, the acting out, the rude interviews, the paper bag stunt, the constant pretentious nonsense - 'My twitter is meta-modernist performance art' - all make sense. He's just a dick!

Think about it. When revealed for being a work-stealing, internet-ranting, 50-Shades-of-Cray-Cray weirdo, who would use 'performance art' as an excuse? A Massive Dick. Shia LaBeouf: not famous anymore, still a dick.


Maybe there's something seriously wrong with his fragile, crumbling mind.

Not to get all serious here, but we've seen plenty of celebrities go off the deep end before they...y'know, really go off the deep end. Lots of people thought that Amanda Bynes was just being 'a bit weird.' Then she was sectioned.

Think about it. For years, he's suffered the pressure of a young star in Hollywood, and is finally about to crack. Now he's talking gibberish, dressing like a hobo, walking out of interviews, Shia actually getting sick?


Maybe Shia's just pretending to be mad but is actually all artsy and that?

Remember when everyone thought Joaquin Phoenix had gone totally mental but then he came out and made the mockumentary I'm Still Here, about how he tricked everyone that he'd gone mental?

Think about it. Shia's been getting beardy, hangin' out at Hollywood Galleries, ripping off artists Marina Abramovic and Daniel Clowes, and his Twitter is full of pretentious things like this:

...or maybe he just ran out of things to tweet.

DICK, SICK or SLICK? Weigh in on the Great Shia LaBeouf Debate!




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