You know what my life is missing? A new type of Netflix site filled with porny, questionable content that I can watch only on my phone because I have the attention span of a gnat, to be frank, and I care not for quality — said nobody ever. Alas, that's exactly what's spaffing your way in the near future.
Meet #Blackpills, a new streaming site specializing in an "unconventional digital format" — whatever that means — that is apparently “the future of digital media.” And they've just announced a Spring Breakers TV series to help promote it, which will sit along their existing roster of shows about dudes with unwashed dicks and chicks who steal their mom's boyfriends.
Unsurprisingly, #SpringBreakers writer-director Harmony Korine is not involved in the Blackpills project, the casting for which is still in development. While it's safe to assume that Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens will not be returning either, perhaps — given the success of the movie — they could rope in some poor mite looking to boost their career. What's Tara Reid up to these days?
Interested what else is coming to Blackpills? Here's a bit of what you can expect:
1. 'Virginity' A.K.A. How To Become A Sexpert In 10 Steps
2. 'Junior' A.K.A. A Jerry Springer Episode Waiting To Happen
3. 'All Wrong' A.K.A. This Man Doesn't Wash His Wang
- The Sexiest Movies On Hulu To Get You All Hot & Bothered
- The Sexy Movies On Netflix That Are Basically Porn
- NSFW: These Actors Had Actual Real Sex In Movies — And You Missed It
4. 'Pineapple' A.K.A. What?
5. 'Game Of Death' A.K.A. No Seriously, What?
7. 'Pillow Talk' A.K.A. Another Narcissistic Dude Complaining About Women
8. 'Maniac' A.K.A. Mental Illness, That's A Laugh Isn't It
9. 'Skinford' A.K.A. Exploiting A Dead Chick
Do any of these shows look like your cup of tea?