When it comes to creating the right mood for sexy times, Australians have a rather unique approach. According to Spotify's Valentines Day report on their top songs for love, Australia's ideal song to have sex to is the Cantina Band song from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.
Ed Sheeran and Marvin Gaye may reign supreme when it comes to romantic Valentines Day ballads, but apparently there's nothing sexier than a catchy sci-fi swing tune. The Cantina band even beat Ginuwine's 'Pony'; Gizmodo reports the track "takes out the number one spot on the top sexy time playlists, by a landslide".
Perhaps the most hilarious part of all is the fact that the Cantina band actually play a genre of music known in the #StarWars universe as "jizz":
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As a huge Star Wars fan who also happens to be Australian, I really wish I could confirm that this is actually a sexy, nerdy secret that Australia has kept from the rest of the world. But alas, this strange statistic isn't something I was even aware of.
However, there's definitely an explanation for why the Cantina Band song is the sex song of choice for Australians. Allow me to explain:
Australians Love Star Wars
Australians love Star Wars. We love Star Wars so much that we repeatedly screw with our country's statistics by listing our religion as Jedi on the national census. So it should come as no surprise that one of the most iconic songs from the entire franchise is beloved enough to make it onto the majority of people's sexy Spotify playlists. After all, nothing's more attractive than discovering the person you're trying to sleep with is also a massive Star Wars nerd.
Australians Love Pubs
The Mos Eisley Cantina is definitely reminiscent of some of Australia's seedier drinking venues, especially with all those gross drunk aliens attempting to assert their masculinity by throwing down with their fellow patrons after even the briefest of eye contact. It'd be an even more apt comparison if Han had glassed Greedo instead of shooting him with his blaster.
As unappealing as that may sound, spending exorbitant amounts of money in such establishments is one of the most popular pastimes in Australia. In fact, it's a veritable national tradition. If it wasn't for the high taxes the government places on alcohol, Australians would probably spend more time in bars than at home.
Given Australia's love of binge drinking, it only makes sense that they'd want to carry that gritty bar vibe into the bedroom. It symbolizes good times, and good times is what you're going to be having if you go home with an Australian with a Spotify playlist full of Star Wars bangers.
Australians Love To "Take The Piss"
I hate to ruin it for you, but Australians probably aren't getting collectively turned on by the New Hope soundtrack. Rather, it's perhaps the biggest example of Australians taking the piss since the whole Jedi census phenomena.
For those not in the know (I'm talking about Americans), "taking the piss" is basically joking around. It usually involves someone else being the butt of the joke— kind of like trolling. Which either means that Australians are all fooling the rest of the world into thinking they love having sex to Star Wars songs, or they're adding it to their Spotify playlists in order to catch their next one night stand off guard in the most hilarious way possible.
Believe me when I say that most Australians would be more than willing to completely ruin the mood by having the Cantina band song queued up in their love making playlist, if only for the sake of a good laugh. Honestly, would you rather have a few more moments of blissful love making, or an absolutely hysterical story to tell down at the pub?
What's the best song on your sexy times playlist?