ByElle McFarlane, writer at
'There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you.'
Elle McFarlane

Ho Ho Hold on a minute! It's only six weeks until the culinary highlight of the year! The time has come to go deck your halls, listen to those Herald Angels and go tell it on the mountain (whatever that means) — and not a moment too soon! Exclamation! Joy! Anti-Climactic feelings of festive foreboding!

And oh do we have the perfect gift for you! That's right, you've been very, very, good this year so we've decided to compile the best Christmas movie quotes of all time to really get you in the merry mood! Come, forget all your cares and jump aboard the Santa Express as we travel full-speed on a delirious journey into monstrously rapid weight gain, crippling debt and Grandma's deceptively potent sidecar.

10. Home Alone (1990)

Ahh Kevin, the craftiest Christmas kid that ever there was. Here he is scaring the holy, holy, holy out of some poor Grub Hub delivery kid by playing the audio of a gangster movie to him through the door, and in doing so avoiding having to pay him. What a G.

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9. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

The Grinch, who embodies all introverts and over-thirties the world over, is loved for his brutal honesty concerning his hatred for The Whos and all things Christmas.

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8. It’s A Wonderful Life (1946)

Possibly every Grandma's favorite Christmas movie, the best quote of It's A Wonderful Life actually takes the form of a book-inscription written by the newly promoted Clarence to the newly transformed George. Millennial's take note — as long as you've got friends, you've not failed at life.

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7. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

What happens when you combine Robert Downey Jr's captivatingly cheeky charm, Val Kilmer playing a gay private investigator and Michelle Monaghan's quite literally endless legs? That's right, one of the most surprisingly brilliant Christmas neo-noir black comedies to date.

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6. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Back before Tim Burton became a horrific parody of himself, he blessed us with this timeless Christmas classic. As an outsider looking in, Jack reveals to us the absurdity of our Christmas traditions and gains his Eureka moment when he realizes that it's all based on magical whimsical fancy and no actual concrete truth.

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5. Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

Teaching us the invaluable lessons of charity, humility and not to refer to Little Timmy outside the context of this story, the Muppet Christmas Carol essentially tells us about the perils of letting your heart turn to stone as you become a greedy capitalist pig. You better watch that Home-Depot habit before the terrifying Ghost of Christmases yet to come pays you a visit.

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4. Elf (2003)

Buddy's struggle to come to terms with the complex subtleties of the human society he suddenly finds himself thrown into represents the struggle that so many of us battle with each and every day, minus the man-sized elf costume, unfortunately.

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3. Love Actually (2003)

In a movie where Billy Nighy plays a rock god, Rowan Atkinson plays an obsessive jewelry salesman and Kiera Knightly plays as ever, herself, it makes perfect sense that Hugh Grant be cast as the Prime minister of Britain, easily making him the most attractive British politician for the past Millenia. One of the best, most festive, and most British quotes of the movie however comes just before his sexy secretary (Martine 'Perfect Moment' McCutcheon) enters his room unannounced...

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2. Die Hard (1988)

Before John McClane, there was no real Christmas, or at any rate, there was no Bruce Willis. Proving that no Festive Season is complete without a gang of German terrorists, Die Hard is the tank-top wearing angel ready to guard the top of any endangered Christmas tree. Health and safety not guaranteed.

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1. Bad Santa (2003)

In the role he was born to play, Billy Bob Thornton as the professional thief-turned-Santa impersonator is the personification of Christmas truth. Because no Christmas movie quote list would be complete without at least two rounds of motherf*cking expletives, we'll let Marcus the dwarf (his words, not mine) take it from here.

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What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?


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