Not even 24 hours has passed since the title announcement for the next Star Wars movie, and the theories are already coming in thick and fast. Who is 'The Last Jedi' referring to? Is the use of "Jedi" plural or singular? What does this mean for the future of the franchise?
Of course, not every #StarWars theory is a winner. For every well-thought out, intelligently constructed theory on #TheLastJedi, there's another that's far-fetched, illogical, or just straight up laughable.
Take a break from scouring those old comics and message boards and have a gander at the best of the worst theories currently floating around on the meaning of The Last Jedi:
9. The Last Jedi Will Be Rey's Baby
Did you actually think Star Wars was evolving into a franchise that empowers its female characters to be more than just a love interest for male protagonists? Think again! Some Star Wars fans are suggesting that the last Jedi will actually be Rey's future child, who's going to conceived and possibly even born in the next film. There hasn't been a gestation that quick since Revenge of the Sith!
There are two theories that fall under this one. The first is that Rey will finally succumb to Finn's unwanted advances, which is terrible for two reasons. Firstly, the whole "harass a woman until she loves you" trope is super gross and dare I say, problematic. And secondly, the Finn/Poe romance squad are going to be pretty disappointed.
But what's worse than Rey/Finn? "Reylo". That's right, those weird, longing stares Kylo was giving Rey in the interrogation chair weren't a sign of envy of her power, or even a possible sibling connection (we all know Star Wars' history with odd brother-sister feelings). That look was straight up lust.
It's a common movie trope to have the bad boy change his ways for the right gal. But let's be real: Kylo is a homicidal, snivelling little psychopath, and Rey can totally do better— though their kid would undoubtedly be incredibly powerful. Let's just pray that Rey's purpose extends beyond getting knocked up before she even had a chance to experience what the galaxy has to offer.
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8. Rey Will Train Finn To Be A Jedi
To be honest, Rey isn't too keen on the whole Jedi idea. She instantly rejected Luke's lightsaber, telling Maz, "I don't want any part of this". Then she palmed the thing off to Luke first chance she got. Just because you're born with a natural talent for something (or a high midi-chlorian count), doesn't mean that's your destiny.
But apparently that destiny might actually belong to Finn. Finn, who's showed barely an inkling of Jedi tendencies, apart from his half-decent lightsaber skills— though that no doubt has more to do with his combat training as a Stormtrooper than being at all Force-sensitive.
Apparently, Rey might use her own Jedi potential to train Finn. It seems pretty unlikely, though there's no doubt that Finn would make the most adorably awkward Jedi ever. Not to mention it'd be a definite crowd-pleaser amongst the "women can't be Jedi" crew, bless their little cotton socks.
7. BB8: The Jedi Droid
According to Redditor uncleho, BB8's lightsaber-esque lighter means he already wields the potential to be a Jedi. Not to mention he has the same markings of Skippy the Jedi Droid, a Force-sensitive Star Wars comic book character who basically triggered the events that prevented Leia's death and secured Luke's future involvement in the Rebellion.
But whilst Skippy was Force-sensitive, he wasn't actually a Jedi. And neither is BB8, despite those markings... Or is he? No, probably not.
"I am no Jedi, but I know the Force". Sorry Maz, but I call bullshit on that one. Maz is definitely hiding more than she's letting on. First of all, why the hell do you have a lightsaber in your basement? Secondly, she's confirmed to be returning for The Last Jedi— could she be the last Jedi? This theory is weak as hell, but quite frankly, we both know that's what you came here to read.
5. Jedi Dog
It may be terrible, it may be far-fetched, but holy hell I hope it's true. Rian Johnson is getting quite the reputation for making little hints at the future of The Last Jedi, and it's pretty hard to tell if he's actually being serious or simply having a cheeky laugh. And in the case of this tweet, it's probably the former:
Now that is some solid concept art. That's going right on the fridge, Rian! Apparently it was a sketch of a dream Johnson had about a Jedi fighting a dog on a canoe. The sketch inspired another piece of art from Clone Wars director Dave Filoni, who whipped up the far more polished version you see above of the lightsaber-wielding dog.
Could it be that the dog is a legit Jedi? The answer is yes, absolutely yes. I personally can't wait to see this dog's intriguing and adorable journey from puppy to Jedi master.
You know the one thing guaranteed to improve Star Wars— or any movie, for that matter? Dogs. Hell, I bet that if George Lucas had just put a few more cute dogs in those awful prequels, people wouldn't have been so disappointed. Hear that, Rian Johnson? You know what the people want. Make. It. HAPPEN.
4. Jar Jar Binks
Speaking of Rian Johnson's cheeky social media habits, let's not forget this tweet from him:
It's an obvious reference to the legitimately amazing theory that Jar Jar Binks was far more cunning than he led on. Despite his claims that he had been banished by his own people for being "too clumsy", his goofy ways may have in fact been a clever act to make his enemies underestimate him, making him far deadlier in battle. What's more, the theory goes so far as to suggest that Jar Jar was a Sith lord, and was using his apparent Jedi mind control to help Palpatine rise to power.
Now that you've read that great theory, let's move on to the terrible one. Johnson's tweet means that not only may we see the return of alleged Jedi Jar Jar, but his official conversion to Sith status. No doubt Jar Jar's return would go a little something like this:
Who is Snoke? Is he Mace Windu? Darth Plagueis? Palpatine? Or is he actually someone who wants to extinguish all traces of Jedi in the galaxy so that he can be the true "Last Jedi"? Hey, it's a reach, but Snoke has pretty much become mandatory for any Star Wars theory list since The Force Awakens.
2. Mass Jedi Extinction
This theory isn't the worst because of its implausibility, but because of its sad implications. Being a Jedi has proven to be pretty tough in this particular galaxy. Their whole religion is constantly being overthrown, exterminated, rediscovered and then hunted down yet again. Basically, Lucasfilm, stop trying to make Jedi happen. It's not going to happen!
Sadly, this is what may be suggested by The Last Jedi. If "Jedi" really is singular rather than plural, then only one Jedi can truly survive. That means that someone's going to have to die— could it be Luke, Rey, or even both?
Another possibility is that the Jedi religion is about to come to an end as a whole. Luke may have rejected his Jedi ways, and Rey also doesn't want any part of that hectic death cult. It's time for a new path. Out with the old, in with the new! Kind of like how all those celebrities became Kabbalists in the early 2000s, and now most of them are creepy Scientologists.
1. It's Just Clickbait
Plot twist: There is no "last" Jedi. It's just a cheap ploy to get us all to watch the film. Lucasfilm played us all. Brilliant. Fantastic. So original.
Or worse yet, they pull one of these:
Got any terrible title theories for The Last Jedi? Post them below!