It's been nearly thirty years since Westley saved Buttercup. Since Inigo Montoya avenged his father. Since Humperdinck got his comeuppance. That's right. It's been nearly three decades since we were first gifted with the swashbuckling gloriousness that is The Princess Bride.
While some feel that a sequel would be inconceivable, many fans are clamoring for a sequel to the cult classic. However, writer William Goldman revealed at the film's 25th anniversary celebrations that he's battling writers' block when it comes to a Princess Bride 2.
I’m desperate to make it and write it and I don’t know how. I would love to make it, more than anything else I’ve not written.
Of course, that quote is a perfect example of everything fans loved about Goldman's work, and why we want a follow-up. It's honest, endearing, sweet... and hilarious. Exactly like the movie itself:
But it's also easy to see why a sequel is no easy task. Not only must Goldman improve upon perfection, but he would have to do it with a new story set (approximately) thirty years after the events of the original film. As phenomenal as the cast still looks, there's no pretending that they are still in their twenties.
So where might our intrepid adventurers be, thirty years on? We've got some ideas...
The Grandson (Fred Savage)
Let's start with the easy one, shall we? Thirty years on, our Grandson (he's never named) is all grown up with kids of his own. In fact, that's the perfect age for one of his children to be home sick from school, playing a (much more impressive) video game, and ready for Dad to come in and read him a boring story with - *shudder* -kissing.
Of course, it could also be fun to flip the script and have him read it to a girl, rather than a boy, or have either child want there to be kissing, but not fighting. (That's scary, Dad!)
Westley And Buttercup (Cary Elwes And Robin Wright)
Our two heroes reach the end of The Princess Bride reunited, madly in love, and riding off into the sunset (just as it should be). Tempting as it may be to go the way of the DCEU and give them a dark-and-gritty reimagining, we're not interested in destroying the magic of the original. As far as we are concerned Westley and Buttercup found their way to a lovely farm, just like the one where Buttercup grew up (but perhaps in a different land, given their history with the current King). They lived happily ever after, and raised a child of their own, who is about to embark on her or his own adventure...
Inigo Montoya And Fezzik (Mandy Patinkin And Andre The Giant)
...to find the Dread Pirate Roberts. Our master swordsman, Inigo Montoya, inherited the title from Westley, and brought Fezzik with him. Westley's child, having heard about their parent's adventures, is desperate to go have some of their own and sets out to find the Dread Pirate's ship. Once there, they discover that neither Inigo or Fezzik remain on board, and that Inigo has handed the title down in turn... to his daughter. After a thrilling life on the high seas, the buccaneer is living a life of luxury somewhere warm and sunny - perhaps back home, in Spain.
Prince Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon)
Not everyone gets a happy ending, and in this enchanting world, evildoers are justly punished. Prince Humperdinck is now King Humperdinck - a bitter, angry monarch, still furious about the humiliations he suffered at the hands of Westley and Buttercup. He has continued to try and spark wars with his neighboring countries, becoming ever more the tyrant as the years pass. Having never really wanted a Queen to begin with, he never married, and is now worried about two things: who will inherit his throne, and how he can rid the world of the scourge of pirates.
Miracle Max And Valerie (Billy Crystal And Carol Kane)
It's hard to believe that these two are still holding on after thirty years, but what else is magic for? And of course, there needs to be a wise old sage to help the children of Westley, Buttercup, and Inigo as they go up against the same villain that their parents fought, all those years ago.
Count Rugen And Vizzini (Christopher Guest And Wallace Shawn)
As for these two, well... they might even make a surprise appearance. If either were only mostly dead, that is.
Because as it turns out, mostly dead is still slightly alive, you see.
So What Happens?!
We'll leave you to figure that one out exactly as you wish.
Will Humperdinck's attempt to get revenge on Westley by attacking the pirates mean a sad end for the new Dread Pirate Roberts? Will Buttercup's daughter or son make it past the Rodents of Unusual Size and home again? Could Buttercup's past engagement (and the wedding that didn't count) have an impact on the heir to the throne?
However the story continues, if and when it does, we have faith that The Princess Bride 2 will have the same same charm as the original, and we're happy to wait for the day it hits our screens. In the meantime... rest well, and dream of large women.