When I see the words "Michael Bay" flash across the silver screen, whether it's under the guise of director or producer, I can't help but smile. And maybe fist pump. For many years Bay has delivered cinematic greatness packaged as two-hour movies, and never has he failed to excite my inner child. I'm not wrong when I say he is one of the best movie directors of all time, and even Anthony Hopkins, one of the most respected actors of all time, has said so himself. I'm tired of all the hate, all the bad press, everyone's repulsive malice toward Bay and his collection of Hasbro toy films.
Transformers Is Transcendent
Yes, all Transformers movies are the same, and yes, most of them have a questionable plot that seems to connect each film by little more than a series of loud booms. And also yes, they may all be made exclusively for China, but still, you know you're going to the theater to eat a massive bucket of popcorn when Transformers 22 is released.
In the years to come you're still going to watch Transformers 23 and 24 when they release, because when you see that name "Michael Bay" once again on that big movie poster, those 20 bucks you have burning a hole in your PayPal account will be spent at the theater. Because #MichaelBay is a film god, an auteur in his own distinctive genre of film (and don't you dare skip the 3D screening).
Give Transformers to Quentin Tarantino, David Fincher, or any other critically acclaimed filmmaker, and the outcome would be just another cliche Hollywood blockbuster. Don't get me wrong — I love Tarantino and Fincher even more than Bay (a lot more), but a Transformers movie without Bay is like removing George Lucas from the Star Wars franchise. I bet Tarantino or Fincher would make a good Transformers movie, but Bay is the secret ingredient that makes the robots in disguise so great in the first place. It's exactly why only Tarantino can make a Tarantino movie.
In a lot of ways, a #Transformers movie is a subgenre in and of itself, much like the superhero genre. To be considered a Transformers film, you need the following:
- Four story acts instead of three
- And of course, big, badass over-the-top characters (a.k.a. Transformers)
Michael Bay has created his own film genre, and outside of Transformers, he also excels in the medium of television. The man was the executive producer of Black Sails, Starz's best series since Spartacus.
Now, I know what you're thinking: What the hell, did you fall and hit your head or something? No I didn't fall and hit my head. Actually, what did happen was that I saw a comment on a YouTube video and I got mad. Because Michael Bay is not as bad a director as people say.
While he's no Steven Spielberg or Clint Eastwood, he sure makes some darn good Transformers movies. Every now and then I'm sure you just want to sit back, relax and watch crazy shit happen on screen. That's exactly what a Michael Bay Transformers film is about. So, let's give the man a break. And an Oscar already.
Transformers aside, if you do want the Michael Bay treatment while also being intellectually stimulated, I recommend watching the aforementioned #BlackSails. You won't be disappointed.
Transformers: The Last Knight is now in theaters. Tell us what you think about Michael Bay in the comments section below.