In a bit of gossip that makes me second-guess everything I once stood for as a writer and also, human being, the generally dour-faced Kristen Stewart was the heroine of the day when she saved fellow bathroom-goers at Chateau Marmont from stepping in a puddle of vomit left there courtesy of another patron...
I'm sorry. I just had to double-check I actually wrote the above paragraph.
Yep, sure did.
In a story that seems one part true and two parts made up, apparently took it upon herself to warn people away from the vomtastic mess when another Hollywood scenester (or wannabe scenester) hurled what I'm guessing was an organic, locally sourced, kale juice smoothie in the general direction of the toilet and missed completely.
As there are only two stalls in the bathroom, the actress apparently took it upon herself to stand guard for 20 minutes, explaining to passers-by, "You don't want to go in there. This chick totally hurled."
Totally, you guys. So Hollywood.
Instead of standing there for twenty minutes, why didn't she, oh, I don't know, just alert the hotel staff to have someone clean it up? Eh? Something smells fishy, and it isn't the pile of puke.
BOOM. Whenever you want to hand me that Pulitzer for investigative journalism, I'm ready.