No, April Fool's has been and gone, and no, this isn't a joke article — we have a very real epidemic on our hands. Once we could stroll the streets in summer or lounge around our houses in relative safety, sticking on some cooling AC if it got a little stuffy. Now, in 2017, we cannot!
What might sound like some Final Destination BS is in fact a heatwave crimewave; air conditioning has killed more #TV characters than any other method in the first part of the year. While in real life, the last AC-related death occurred in 1988 when a clumsy worker dropped a unit on an innocent pedestrian, being a character of fiction is a much more dangerous affair.
In It For The Fans
Noted by Uproxx, there have already been three air conditioning deaths on our favorite shows since the year began in January. The site also noted that we have seen two Kangaroos die — once on The Leftovers, and once on The Young Pope — so it is also isn't a good time to be a fictional kangaroo.
However, if you don't believe me about the AC, check it out below!
1. The Good Place
“Chidi’s Choice” Season 1, Episode 10 (January 5)
Starting off the year with a bump, The Good Place revealed through a flashback that the character Chidi went splat under an air conditioning unit. While innocently pondering which bar to go to with his friend, Chidi didn't know that death literally hung above him.
What may have seemed like an FD accident was actually Chidi's doing. Earlier, we saw him throw a tantrum and whack the offending appliance. In classic Hollywood irony, this loosened the AC enough for it to come tumbling down on him with perfect timing. Moral of the story: Pick a venue and go get drunk (quickly).
“The Law of Vacant Places,” Season 3, Episode 1 (April 19)
From woodchippers to hammers, Fargo never holds back with its amusing but horrifying deaths. This time, it was air conditioning unit No. 2 that roared down from above. Not so much an accident, this was one of precise calculation and some Sherlock-esque ingenuity.
A drug-addled crook called Maurice LeFay confronted his parole officer (Ewan McGregor) and said parole officer's girlfriend (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) in an attempt to blackmail them. Deciding they didn't feel like being being LeFay's puppets, the duo unscrewed the air conditioner and timed how long it would take LeFay to get down the stairs. Just like Wile E. Coyote standing on an X, it was a short but sweet part in Season 3 for Scoot McNairy.
3. The Leftovers
“Crazy Whitefella Thinking,” Season 3, Episode 3 (April 30)
It isn't only hopping kangaroos that are endangered in Damon Lindelof and Tom Perrotta HBO mystery The Leftovers. In the sweltering heat of the Australian outback, I don't blame you for relying on the modern marvels of technology. Sure, this time it wasn't a death directly caused by being plonked with an AC unit, however, the tricky bugger is responsible for the death.
When up on the roof trying to fix the malfunctioning machine, Scott Glenn's Kevin Garvey, Sr. took a tumble and crushed the elderly gent beneath him. The man known as Christopher Sunday had promised to teach Garvey a rain song if he fixed his air conditioning. Looks like that rain would've come in handy right about now!
Consider yourself warned!
All this and we are only in May. With Prison Break taking us to the scorching landscape of Yemen, and high death toll shows like The Walking Dead and American Horror Story currently on hiatus, writers are likely scrambling for more imaginative ways to kill off characters with air conditioning.
I think I would rather take my chances in the pre-electricity world of Game of Thrones, at least the White Walkers can keep you cool over there without fear of a cooling-related accident. Methinks that all those WGA writers' strike negotiations led to too many writers watching re-runs of Final Destination. Whether the AC murders of 2017 will carry on remains to be seen.
Check out Candice's air conditioning-related demise in Final Destination 5 and don't forget our poll below!
Are you scared of your AC unit?