It's #EmployeeAppreciationDay! A day when you come together to appreciate those that you work with...or just remember how much you want to hit the new guy who has no clue what he's doing. No matter how annoying it is to sit next to Phyllis in accounting who refuses to shut up about her cats or Greg in sales who wears an overpowering amount of Axe body spray, just remember, fictional coworkers are worse. Here are the five we all know we would hate to work with in real life.
5. Scully And Hitchcock - 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'
- Played by: Dirk Blocker (Hitchcock) and Joel McKinnon Miller (Scully)
Everyone has worked with a Scully or Hitchcock before - the "coworker" who sits around all day and does not do any work. Scully and Hitchcock are the bane of the 99th precinct's lives, constantly falling asleep on duty or messing up. While the two offer little to no help on the job, they are the best use of comic relief on the show. Whether it be Jake blowing up Scully's boots in a Hurt Locker-esque extraction or Hitchcock constantly taking his shirt off, the duo provide countless laughs to the show.
4. Milton - 'Office Space'
- Played by: Stephen Root
While Milton is a sadly tragic sort of figure and you can't help but feel sorry for him, you would hate to work with him. Can you imagine being Peter? Having to listen to him on the phone talking about squirrels getting married and his red stapler? All the time? It would drive you insane.
Then again, Milton ends up burning down the office building so there could be many people who'd love to work with him for that reason in particular. After all, who hasn't thought about going full Milton on their place of employment once or twice?
3. Superman/Clark Kent - Any Superman Movie
- Played by: Various actors
While he may be amazing at saving the earth from whatever villain comes his way, #Superman really does a horrible job as a reporter. I have never seen anyone be as late to their job as many times as Clark Kent, and somehow still keep his position in the company.
Also, when a newspaper is late when it comes to putting their stories together for printing, it costs the company several thousand of dollars per minute, every minute that it is behind. Just how much debt must The Daily Planet be in when he forgets to write his articles? Or disappears while on assignment? Thank god Bruce Wayne owns the company, because Clark Kent would be out on his ass any day of the week.
2. Sheldon Cooper - 'The Big Bang Theory'
- Played by: Jim Parsons
Has there ever been a moment in #TheBigBangTheory where that made you go, "You know, I'd love to work with Sheldon!"—like, ever? No, there hasn't. Because no one would ever want to work with Sheldon Cooper.
Sheldon is the insufferable know-it-all that I am sure everyone has worked with at one point in their life. The man refuses to admit when he is wrong or that anyone can do a better job than him; the Donald Trump of a workspace but with less wall building—although I'm sure he would happily build a wall around his "spot." He's also pedantic, demanding, and has no concept of social cues.
The worst thing about Sheldon? He never takes a day off. He was literally forced to take a vacation by his boss. Everyone loves when that person they hate working with goes on holiday for a week or two. But Sheldon is so annoying that you wouldn't even get to look forward to that reprieve because he never takes time off!
1. The Entire Crew Of 30 Rock - '30 Rock'
- Played by: You know who they are
Where do to begin with this lot? As lovable as the cast of 30 Rock are, you would most likely take a page from Milton's book and torch the entire building by the time you'd worked an entire week with them.
Between Tracy Jordan's psychotic antics and Jenna being... Jenna, I would more than likely hand in my notice less than an hour into my first shift.
Then there's the entire crew of writers. The writer crew in 30 Rock just embody the worst aspects of every person you have ever worked with: You have Frank, the lazy slob making sarcastic jabs all day; Pete, who goes through a mid-life crisis every week; and Toofer, the college graduate who believes he is better than his job despite having no experience. And this is all before you have to deal with Liz Lemon, who is all of the above combined to create the worst boss you've ever had.
Outside of the writers room you have Kenneth. Kenneth is the one person who takes his job all too seriously, not even thinking about bending the rules a little bit. We have all encountered a guy like him in our work life. Maybe it was that time in high school when that one kid would remind the teacher that we had homework, or that time at Starbucks when the barista would take forever trying to perfect your coffee when you're in a rush—those are Kenneths. We hate Kenneths.
Whether we hate them or really, really hate them, we just have to learn to tolerate them. Our fellow coworkers can be the best friends or just the most annoying people on earth, but at the end of the day we kind-of-sort-of love them and that's why days like Employee Appreciation Day exist!