ByScott Wardell, writer at
Editor at MP. It never gets easier, you just go faster.
Scott Wardell

Your house is now in escrow and you're well on your way to becoming a first-time homeowner. Unfortunately, this property has a certain reputation that may not have been disclosed to you: It is haunted. films have taught us that most cheap fixer-uppers usually have some baggage attached to them — be they ghosts, spirits, , or other entities.

There are a few things you need to know in order to prepare for the inevitable encounters that will occur while you own your possessed property. Here's your handy guide on how to make your a little less threatening and a lot more homey.

No Mirrors

'Prom Night' / Alliance Films & Screen Gems
'Prom Night' / Alliance Films & Screen Gems

Forgoing your appearance to avoid scares from or other intruders is a small price to pay. What you're trying to avoid here is the classic "mirror scare." By adjusting any sort of reflective surface, you're setting yourself up for a shocking reveal of a villain or monster. The biggest offender is the cabinet mirror in the bathroom, so be sure to promptly have it removed.

Oil All Door Hinges

Creaky doors are one of the biggest giveaways that something is opening and closing doors that shouldn't be messed with. This is especially important for houses built with lightweight doors that seem to groan with the slightest breeze. Keeping all hinges well oiled will eliminate those telltale signs you're being stalked in your own home.

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Place Mattress Directly On The Floor

'There's No Such Thing' / Daywalt Horror
'There's No Such Thing' / Daywalt Horror

and things that go bump in the night love no better place to hide than underneath your bed (where you're most vulnerable). An easy workaround is to do away with the bed frame and sleep on the floor. That way you'll thwart any potential ankle grab opportunities when you get up to investigate strange sounds or take a late-night leak, and those pesky visitors have to find another place to lurk in your bedroom.

No Closets

'The Ring' / DreamWorks
'The Ring' / DreamWorks

When aren't hiding under your bed, they are camped out in your closet. Take away the temptation by investing in an armoire, wardrobe rack, or even a chifferobe to house your clothing out in the open, where hiding between your pullovers is a much bigger challenge. The one drawback to this is that it does eliminate a potential hiding spot should you need to take cover in your own room.

Candles And Flashlights In EVERY Room

'The Conjuring' / Warner Bros.
'The Conjuring' / Warner Bros.

At some point you will lose power, most likely during the climax of your haunting experience. The darkness will work to your intruder's favor, so you need to be prepared with illumination. Your house should be illuminated like a NASA rocket launch, even without electricity.

Fun Fact: Your average (250 square foot) living room requires approximately 5,000 lumens for sufficient coverage.

Wall-To-Wall Carpet

Auditory clues are some of the biggest hints that you've got unwelcome company in your house. Sure, hardwood floors have that timeless aesthetic and add an air of sophistication to your abode, but they creak and groan and make your house unsettling . If this were the 1950s, wall-to-wall carpeting would be considered a luxury, plus it's way more comfortable during your barefoot strolls to investigate that mysterious sound coming from the attic...

Seal Off The Attic

Attics are for storing luggage, assorted holiday decorations and secrets. It's likely populated with an collection of once-forgotten things, making it the perfect stage for some terrifyingly creepy encounters. A couple handfuls of nails are all it takes.

Seal Off The Basement

Not only are exits limited, but usually the most creepy and unsavory things gather in the bowels of your home's foundation. Whether it's the dank air, the lack of natural sunlight, or the perpetual dirt on every flat surface, basements are a breeding zone for trouble. Seriously, just fill the whole damn thing with concrete.

No Electronic Devices

'Poltergeist' / Fox
'Poltergeist' / Fox

Ghosts and otherworldly dimensional beings have evolved to keep up with the trends just as fast as we have. That means that things like televisions, video game systems, and phones are merely conduits by which can invade every orifice of our social lives.

See all of these tropes and more in the haunted houses supercut video below — collected and edited together by the film experts over at Burger Fiction:


What advice do you think is paramount for a first-time haunted house owner?


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