While many people would point to Trump, global warming or Kanye West as the bringer of the apocalypse, researchers are growing increasingly concerned that we are diverting ourselves from the real threat to mankind: a mass zombie invasion.
Sharing their research with highly respected journalistic outlet, the Daily Mail, scientists have voiced their concerns that if a zombie outbreak were to occur, humanity would only have 100 days to live — unless we were properly prepared.
After 100 Days, Only 100 Survivors Would Be Left
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After being asked to calculate exactly how long humans would have to survive in the aftermath of a zombie virus outbreak, students at Leicester University in the UK developed a complex mathematical formula to predict our chances — and they're not good. Here's what the formula involved:
- The students wanted to measure how a zombie infection would spread through a population over time.
- They broke the population down into three groups: Those susceptible to infection, those already infected and those who have died or recovered.
- From the data they were able to predict the rate at which the infection would spread as humans came into contact with each other: in approximately 100 days, all of humanity would be infected apart from around 100 survivors.
However, They Did Not Take Into Account The Rate Of Humans Killing Zombies In Retaliation.
If there's one thing that zombie movies teach us, however, it's that humanity and the will to live often makes things difficult for the zombies on their mindless crawl to world domination. So, while the students state that after 100 days there will be approximately only 100 people left to keep fighting the good fight, you can be rest assured that these brave warriors will soldier on until their last breath. Or at least until they discover a miraculous immunization.
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According To Neuroscientists, Here's How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse
Referring to the zombie condition as "Conscious Deficit Hypoactivity Disorder" (CDHD), neuroscientists have hashed together a five-point plan (as cited in the Daily Mail) to make sure that you make it into the final 100 after 100 days of relentless zombie destruction.
1. Don't Fight The Zombies
As the neuroscientists point out, trying to fight the zombies is futile as their neural responses don't allow them to feel pain. Also, as they are the walking dead, generally it is impossible to 'kill' them without completely obliterating their physical bodies, which is quite a difficult, and timely, feat.
2. Stay Very, Very Quiet
Essentially, because the zombies are pretty much brain dead except for some of their basic motor functions, they are pretty dumb. Consequently, your chances at out smarting them are quite high so hiding from them and waiting for them to get distracted and move on to their next victim is a good tactic.
3. If You Can, Distract The Zombies
As mentioned above, zombies have very short attention spans due to their astonishing lack of intellect. Therefore, inability to concentrate means that it's very easy to throw them of your trail. For example, fireworks, screaming babies and David Guetta would all make for great distractions.
4. Do Not Try To Talk To The Zombies
The neuroscientists point out that those suffering with CDHD are unable to access the language circuits in their brains meaning that they can neither form language themselves, or understand it. A bit like trying to talk to a teenager in the throws of an angsty wailing session — it's best to avoid.
5. Do However Pretend To Be One Of Them
Just like the old saying states, if you can't beat them, join them. A great technique to throw the zombies off your scent therefore is to pretend to be one of them. Due to their ability to recognize faces being severely hampered, zombies are likely to be unable to detect the difference between human and zombie if you proceed to walk in a similar way to them. Good luck out there!
How likely do you think a zombie apocalypse is?
(Source: The Daily Mail)