0:00-0:15: Josh Brolin (protagonist), whose name is regrettably no longer Oh Dae Su, wakes up in a hotel room. Surprise, he can't get out.
0:15-0:17: We get a quick glimpse of (I'm pretty sure) Samuel L Jackson, watching Brolin through an unnecessary wall of TV sets. Also, it should be noted that he has some sort of giant lump on his head; tumor? Low ceiling?
0:18-1:07: Anybody who's seen the movie knows this; he hangs out in the room for a large chunk of time (this time, watching American history roll by on the news) and eventually looks like Ron Perlman in The Quest For Fire.
1:08-1:27: Thank god, somebody cut his hair. Here he's let back out into society, and finds his friends; some blonde nobody (probably filling in for No Joo-Hwan in the original), and his bizarre love interest. Some rough stuff happens between the two.
1:28-1:30: That umbrella's come up a few times already. It can be seen in the original poster for the film, and when Brolin busts out of his box thing at 1:08. The number of years is etched on the umbrella, but beyond that, what the hell?
1:31-1:49: Okay, they always put the important stuff all at once. First, we see a bit of action; Brolin getting dragged around (twice), and then his love interest making some vague offer about helping him. That's not the cool stuff. He gets a taunting phone call from his captor, but it's not Samuel L Jackson; it sounds to me like some British lady. And what's more, she threatens Brolin's daughter (mentioned briefly before). As she's doing the nifty dialogue from the original, we see Samuel again, but from the front. And what's that on his head? I think either Brolin assaulted him with a pork bun earlier in the film, or he's got some sort of injury/ailment. That could influence his decisions later on (or maybe Brolin just tugs at it to kill him). Finally, we see the villain's super-posh flat, and guys; the hammer.
1:50-2:07: Basically two things; they did the hammer scene (will they ruin it?), and sex. Good, moving on.
2:08-2:14: More fighting, Brolin paraphrasing the Taken speech, and him looking very angry at a cafe. Might it be No Joo-Hwan's internet cafe?
2:15-2:31: Ah, here we go. From the looks of it, Samuel ISN'T our Lee Woo-Jin (main bad guy) anymore; more likely it's the prison manager. Poor guy. Also, it should be noted that we see that lump again from the front, but it's slightly shadowed now (why am I so obsessed with this lump??)
A few final, unanswered questions:
Who is this British lady? Is it actually a British lady, or does it just sound like one?
Will the hammer scene be one take again? Will it be anywhere near the original?
What is that monster on Samuel L Jackson's head? Dumplings? Octopi? I guess we'll have to wait and find out.