The brand-new Hunger Games: Catching Fire trailer has just come out, so I decided to break the trailer down using only graphics and sarcasm. Let's see how this goes!
[DISCLAIMER: If you are an avid fan of this series, you will either love this or be extremely offended. I personally hope it's both.]
First, let's watch the trailer real fast:
Okay, so a lot of things just happened. Let's start back at the beginning and talk this through.
The first scene shows Katniss entering Victors' Village, probably for the first time. These are fancy neighborhoods located in every district that house the winners of the games. Since Katniss, Peeta, and Haymitch are the only winners from District 12, their village is probably creepy and empty. From the looks of this frame and the subsequent scene, Katniss is in a graveyard.
Next we have Katniss spewing some responsibility nonsense at her younger sister, Pinetree. Sorry, Primrose. Or something. Her perpetual emotional disorder is in full display, I just hope Katniss doesn't do something stupid and hug her or something.
Primtastic starts talking (I think) about how everything is different now that Catness and PETA have stood up to the bad guys. Meanwhile, we see our favorite teenage murder couple enjoying their Victory Tour, and I would be too if there were trains involved.
We then jump to Catness and PETA being received by some hardcore fans who like to kiss their fingers, which tells us that our heroes are in Rue's district. The feels are in full swing right now.
We start seeing the effects that fame and popularity are having on PETA and Catness, as the dude is apparently fed up with Cat's drama. But let's be real. Jennifer Lawrence is gonna be JLAW, and I've always gotten the vibe that she's way more focused on what's really going on than her man. For most of this movie, expect Catness to be wary and resistant to the revolution, constantly stressing about the breaking of patenting laws concerning her mockingjay.
Some revolution stuff happens. People are rioting in the streets. Flags are being burned. This movie is most likely taking place during a holiday. Meanwhile, the creepiest movie actors on Earth are talking about killing Catness, but the timing has to be right and other stuff they probably learned from Gladiator. Oh and someone spray painted "the odds are never in our favor" on a wall. Ouch bad guys!
Well that was fast. As soon as they say they should wait to kill her, they invade District 12. Trailers for you. What I don't get is why these guys are wearing full-on white kevlar with adamantium helmets. They're invading a town full of farmers, not Burning Man. Anyways, we know bad stuff is about to go down because Everdrama is all:
Which is good advice because these hungertroopers are ready to
Ouch. During all the panic, Gale tells Catness that she shouldn't be so negative about the revolution because "people wanna fight." Catness wants him to avoid the drama (shocker) but Fale is all
And they do, but I can't show that image because kids read this blog.
The setting shifts to earlier in the story when Catness meets President Snow. He tells her that this revolution is bad and will get innocent people killed. Since Everdrama loves innocent people, she is apparently on the same page, as the trailer mixes in scenes of characters being pushed around by hungertroopers.
Now we're getting to the good stuff. President Blizzard announces the 75th Hunger Games, but there's a twist. Every quarter (this would be the third), the contestants are pooled from the victors in what is called the "Quarter Quell." Thanks to editing, this is all announced alongside awesome bongos and JLAW smolders.
Catness and PETA are whisked away to the quail games, but not before Pinetree yells at her for not saying goodbye. So much drama in this family.
Most touching part of the trailer if you ask me. So that guy Stanley Tucci plays starts yelling about the games and Lenny Kravitz shows up.
The next few shots show us Catness getting all Disney Princess on us before showing us what we go to these movies to see.
The trailer starts to wrap up as we see Catness donning her fire dress, flapping her crow dress, and then blazing in public.
And then finally, the moment of truth. The Quarter Quail begins just before fading to black.
Yeah, that's actually how the trailer ends. With a dive.
Regardless, this trailer was pretty fantastic and a huge improvement over the last one. We finally got to see some of the Quarter Quail in action AND we even saw Thad from "Blue Mountain State" throwing fake spears at stuff. It was a good day.
Hunger Games: Catching Fire comes out November 22 A.K.A. not soon enough.
Jon Negroni is the author of the Pixar Theory and other movie-related conspiracies. For more of his odd opinions you might care about, check out jonnegroni.com or follow him on Twitter @JonNegroni