The early reviews for Kickass 2 are already out people and friends! You know what that means: It's time to translate critic-speak so the rest of us can actually find use from their oddly chosen words.
...but in a film whose heroine is a 15-year-old girl beating up a bunch of bad dudes, that’s not just bad taste – it leaves a bad taste. -Cath Clarke (Time Out London)
Translation: I felt bad for being sexually attracted to a 15 year old girl.
For cleverly observed satirical barb or gritty, real-world dilemma, there's an equivalent, jarring misstep into lazy cliche. -Matt Risley (Total Film)
Translation: There were parts of it I didn't like, so I don't like the whole thing.
A more modest success than the first Kick-Ass, but still of-a-piece with its scurrilous predecessor. -Owen Williams (Empire)
Translation: The first one was better.
To call your film Kick-Ass is to work on the assumption that your audience is excited by the prospect of having their asses metaphorically kicked. -Robbie Collin (The Telegraph)
Translation: My boss forced me to watch this.
Jon Negroni is the author of the Pixar Theory and other movie-related conspiracies. For more of his odd opinions you might care about, check out jonnegroni.com or follow him on Twitter @JonNegroni