I was born in the seventies. Yeah, that’s right I’m old(er). It happens to the best of us. All you have to do to get this way is not die. But if you do die don’t worry there are options. You can haunt the living. You can just slam doors for no reason, hurl knickknacks across a room, stomp up and down hallways at odd hours, get pissed and lower the room temperature until people can see their breath. You can contact a fake/real psychic to chat up your girlfriend then possess her body so you can dance with her to Unchained Melody or you can help a creepy kid deal with their ability to see you. There’re a lot of things you can do, but watch out though because if you annoy too many living people then they have options to get rid of you.
They can call some team to come and try to catch you on film while they whisper to each other in New England accents or maybe some douche wearing a shirt that’s entirely too small, and flexing his muscles constantly, can yell at you while his two suck-up friends film it.
They could call four guys from New York to show up in a modified Cadillac ambulance wearing grey coveralls and carrying nuclear accelerators on their backs to zap you with a stream of protons and suck you into a box and now we've reached the point of my inane rant.
Like I mentioned I was born in the seventies, which means back in 1984 my family and I wandered into a movie theater and I saw Harold Ramis, Dan Ackroyd, Bill Murray, and Ernie Hudson take on spooks and specters in Manhattan. From it I learned many things. Never yell “GET ‘ER!” at a ghostly librarian and if someone asks you if you’re a god you say “YES”! I laughed, I screamed, I watched a giant marshmallow step on a church.
Five years later I saw it again. It wasn’t as much fun the second time around. Mood slime was everywhere and the moral of the story was people are mean but we can come together and be nice in time for the Statue of Liberty to come walking down the street and bash in the skylight of a prominent museum. I giggled a bit; there were a few moments where I jumped slightly. It wasn’t the greatest sequel but Hollywood wasn’t making good sequels back then so it was adequate for its time.
Now they wanna make another one and, of course, it could be great. Let's get the band back together for one more show and make the duology a trilogy. Sure they’re older now but it could still work. They could be there as mentors with a new generation of Ghostbusters doing their part until a huge threat forces them out of retirement. I could put up with the inevitable Geritol and Ensure jokes coupled with the multiple versions of “I’m too old for this” spoken over and over. It would be a lot of fun, of course.
Maybe we don’t need a Ghostbusters 3. Maybe the duology was enough. Maybe too much time has passed and the boys really are too old to strap on the proton packs. Maybe the best isn’t yet to come and the beloved franchise should not have a third installment.
I know, I know Ivan Reitman is back and Ackroyd is in on it with Ramis so we could be looking at… what exactly?
The time for the old regime has come and gone and it’s over. And yet they still want to make a movie. Okay, but we don’t need Ghostbusters 3. Reboots are all the rage nowadays and it’ll be thirty years or more since the first film was released before the next movie is made so forget about trying to tie in the next film with the last two and just make a new one. Ackroyd and Ramis should abandon the idea of another sequel and just write a film that completely reworks the mythos for a new generation.
Paranormal investigation is still popular in entertainment with Ghost Adventures and Ghost Hunters and Paranormal State and every other show that has goobers wandering around dilapidated buildings holding digital recorders and EMF detectors asking questions to thin air and trying to make sense of weird noises in static. These things are hilarious and hilariously profitable and should be exploited. Put something out that accounts for that while paying proper tribute to the past. Think proton packs with EM pumps and PKE Meters with EMF detectors. Try it. It could be cool.