ByRobbie Herr, writer at
Liquor? I barely know her!
Robbie Herr

Hollywood constantly churns out movies that are reboots, based on books, 2D turned into 3D, 3D turned into 2D, based on movies based on books and everything else that isn’t straight from a writer’s imagination.

Understandably, damn near everything has been done already, but there are still some stories that remain unwritten. The problem with movie makers and production companies is that they like to ride on fads until they start losing money, a solid short-term money-making technique, I guess. What happens when superhero movies run their course and stop being the wet dreams of Comic-Con movie fans? Iron Man and The Avengers can only hold a person’s attention for so long.

Even Iron Man is bored of Iron Man already...

My solution? Create a movie that is totally unique and something that has never, to my knowledge, been done before to try and kickstart a creative revolution.

And here it is…

The storyline is advertised and presented to the audience as a care-free and superficial movie, such as a comedy, sappy love story or comedic-sappy love story. It mainly has to be a tolerable movie since the storyline means nothing. This will, at first, draw in the teenage girls with their reluctant boyfriends and the trying-to-be-hip mothers, but that will later change within the first week when they all hate it. Their hatred will stem from the very last minutes of the movie, the minutes when it falls apart. Just when the denouement begins, something happens that completely changes the movie. It will be an unbelievably extreme event like the main character getting shot in the face, a demon ripping everyone apart or a character speaking jibberish as they die then burst into flames; this will effectively piss off all the people who expected a comedy and confuse the shit out of everyone. You will leave with the feeling that you missed something really major along the way. Mission accomplished.

Here’s where the movie becomes something never done before (that I am aware of). Some of the viewers will watch the movie again in hopes of understanding what led to the horrific ending, some will just say “fuck that movie” and forget about it. Watching the movie again with a keener eye than before, the mundane and minor details will become valuable pieces of information to understanding what is actually going on. Why does that man keep showing up? Was that blood on the wall? Is that woman on the street just crazy or trying to help them? As you begin to put the details together, you will discover a horrifying new plot that the main characters are oblivious to. In the end, viewers should have a general sense of what was going on, while still questioning what was real or made up in their head.

There's a major flaw in the simple fact that this movie would be incredibly difficult to make. The background plot would have to be so subtle that it goes unnoticed until you look for it. This would take a director with such a nitpicky attitude towards the smallest details that it would effectively piss off every member of the film crew. We would need a collaboration of Christopher Nolan, Peter Jackson and Stanley Kubrick with their OCD-like perfection, as well as a cast willing to put up with such a delicate concept that could fall apart with one minor slip-up in their performance.

Is it perfect? No. Is it better than a lot of movies that are being made? Definitely.

If there is a movie like the one I described above, please let me know.


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