ByJohn Mountain, writer at
John Mountain

I have come to the conclusion that I am mentally sadomasochistic. I like to see other people being hurt while simultaneously inflicting mental pain upon myself. It's the only reason I can come up with to explain why I watched 2-Headed Shark Attack. I like to see people getting eaten by a 2-headed rubber shark and at the same time satisfy my need to punish myself in a mental capacity. Then again, it may have been the opportunity to see boobs that drew me to this movie. It certainly wasn't the plot, of which there was very little. Nor was it Carmen Electra's acting. I can imagine her audition went something like this:

"Take off your shirt."


"You've got the part".


Then there's Brooke Hogan, daughter of professional wrestling’s biggest douche-bag, Hulk Hogan. Despite being Hogan's daughter she's actually kind of attractive. That is until my imagination kicked in and I pictured her with the Huckster's trademark mustache. What a stupid imagination.

Did I mention that Jerry O'Connell is in this movie? Oh wait; it's Charlie O'Connell, Jerry’s younger brother. Jerry's probably at home watching reruns of Sliders and having sex with his wife Rebecca Romijn like the smart brother that he is.

Director Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray is the son of Fred Olen Ray, the legendary director behind the schlock classics Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Beverly Hills Vamp and Scream Queen Hot Tub Party. Fred made a career out of sleazy and cheesy and it appears as though the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Finally, I give you the plot of 2-Headed Shark Attack. Pay attention; I'm not going to repeat it: Shark! Bikinis; Shark! Boobs; Shark! More Bikinis; Shark!

The End.


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