ByPhil M Payton, writer at Creators.co
Phil M Payton

There are many films I wouldn’t consider good but usually there’s something there to at least get some form of enjoyment from. This is not one of them, as I left the cinema I struggled to think of something good about this film. But I couldn’t, I still can’t. To say this a bad film is an understatement and insult to the word 'bad'. Abomination, atrocious, sickening - all more apt words to describe this.

Based on a graphic novel ‘I, Frankenstein’ tells the painfully boring story of ‘Adam’ (Aaron Eckhart), a thing made by ‘Victor Frankenstein’ caught in a war between ‘Demons’ and ‘Gargoyles’. And they must be using the term war lightly, it’s more of a skirmish or bar fight than an all out war. There’s not much sense in the film, the story is as interesting as buttering toast and the acting is dreadful (the script can take some of the blame but not all of it). Even the mighty ‘Bill Nighy’ can’t escape the crap and delivers what i have no doubt his worst performances ever. The casting in general is puzzling as much as i like ‘Yvonne Strahovski’ her as the doctor must be a joke - it doesn’t fit any way shape or form.

It’s classed itself as a horror and an action film both of which is wildly off the mark. it seems they deem a dark look and lots of black horror - ‘Finding Nemo’ was scarier than this. It could claim to be an action movie if the action scenes weren’t so poorly constructed and dull. Everything looks like filler like the cast off of a much larger script, much like the protagonist this is a miss match of scattered pieces that add up to nothing. And as i struggled to think of something good i’m struggling to have enough to say. There’s no nuances to the story, there’s nothing exciting and not ‘a good’ idea buried under the crap. All it has achieved is existence, it happen, i don’t know how but it did and suppose that’s a miracle and something ‘good’ about it.

What more can i say a despicable piece of crap that aims for as low a threshold as possible and it even somehow misses that. Often a truly bad film is so terrible it’s good but not hear not even close the atrocious script is just embarrassing. The acting is beyond bad. To paraphrase ‘Stewie Griffin’:

"A writer needs a voice and I have one. This doesn’t. This film panders to the lowest common denominator. And it doesn’t even do that well!. May every person that laughs at this sophomoric effort be a reminder of its eternal crappyness, and pierce its heart like a knife."

F, 0.5/10

Favourite Parts: - It had an ending.

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