Who's to say one woman's utter repulsion for a zombie male isn't another's perfect mate? Quiet, enjoys shuffling after you while you shop, not a picky eater aside from the whole brain thing -- zombies can make the ultimate partner in the afterlife. Until you're both drug off by stray dogs. Whatever.
Here's my top four picks for a rumble in a dumpster, and a ladyfriend for the menfolk:
4. Nicholas Hoult from Warm Bodies
3. Jimmy Smits - AMC campaign for the Red Cross
Yes, yes I would. Don't judge. Who said a zygomatic arch couldn't be dead sexy?
2. Laird Hamilton - AMC campaign for the Red Cross
I have a thing for blondes, and he still has most of his braincase. WINNING!
1. Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Bloom's looking mighty well after that nasty heart episode. Since he's still kickin' it with Keira, I'm going to choose him for my number one spot. At least he's not dripping eyeball goo. It's the little things.
And a little eyecandy for the menfolk with Anna Falchi from Cemetery Man (1994).
You're welcome, Internet.
Visit Undead Fred at the Zombie Dating Guide for sketchy dating advice and some really horrible poetry.
You've been warned.