ByBJ Hall, writer at
I write Comedy, Do Stand-up, Travel Through Time, and enjoy the FUCK out of a good movie! Twitter: @InitiallyDirty FB: https://www.facebook.
BJ Hall

Denial and Isolation (Before Pressing Play)

No.... Just No! NO! They are not making this movie. Why? Its such a great book from my childhood. They wouldn't make that into a movie. Nah, its bulls**t, they just wouldn't....even if they did I wouldn't go see it. Ha, no one will, but the movie is probably not even about the book i read as a child. Its just a name after all, "The Giver" could mean a lot of things, this could all be just some misunderstanding.

Anger (0:18 seconds in)

Well piss on my popcorn! What is this the Divergent Twilight of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire and attempting to burn down the basic foundation of my personality that I have built over the years?! I mean come on!! Its not even in Black and White! And you know that was a big part of it you stupid f**ks with your stupid bucks, investing in regurgitation bulls**t and churning it out into the ether like some kind of s**t-machine ready to infect the next generation of movie goers with the idea that they are only sheep feeding at the troth of distraction.

This book f**king meant something to people, it was one the first that taught you about the willful horrors and denial of the world at large and broke it down so that even a 12 year old can understand it and ......

(00:25 seconds in)

awe godd**n it.... did they combine the DNA of both Robert Pattinson/Taylor Lautner to create some sort of teen hybrid? You gotta be f**king joking, he is a teenager.....he better just be a tall twelve year old!!!


nope.... nope its a completely different f**king character! Why dont they just call this s**t Hunger Games: The Prequel? Stop stealing my past Hollywood!!!


skipped your morning injection? Motherf**ker, we already made this movie! its called "Equilibrium", and it was the s**t..... Why Hollywood?

Bargaining (0:40 seconds in)

Hey, well its clearly has Jeff Bridges in it, it cant be that bad.... ya know maybe if I just go and watch it and just do it to support the Bridges.


Ah wow, so maybe it might be ok after all. I mean if Jeff is the original Giver and they do actually transfer the feelings and emotion over, it wont be that bad.

Depression (1:05 minutes in)

Awww d**n it.... did I just see light cycles?! Why the living f**k could those be in there? D**n, they were probably just left over from the Tron sequel. Why Hollywood? Why do you intend on butchering the things I hold dear... first Constantine and now this.... the world just doesn't make sense anymore, I quit.

Acceptance (1:08)

I just saw a spaceship..... no..... no I dont accept this! F**k you Hollywood! I hope internet pirates take your booty out of your box office. I accept only, that this movie will be a fart in the wind within both Bridges and Streep's carrer... but that poor genetic experiment of a lead, what will happen once it is over, go back in for processing? Im hoping more for a Soylent Green senario...


How do you feel about "The Giver" being made into something like this?


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