Everyone enjoys going on vacation. What people don’t enjoy is getting brutally murdered or close to it on said vacation. If movies have taught us anything, it’s that going on vacation totally sucks and will often end in death. It doesn't matter what the location is, be it your summer home, Hawaii, Italy, a shady motel in the middle of nowhere, a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere, or the state of Texas, people will often find themselves in the worst of situations.
All people want to do is get away for a bit. They're stressed for a ton of reasons: they hate their job, their marriage is far too strenuous to handle or they finally got that Christmas bonus from their boss who originally shortchanged them for a lifetime subscription to "The Jelly of the Month Club". Regardless of the reason for going on vacation, the point is to just relax about everything going on in your own life, because you deserve it. If there's one thing these six films have in common, it's making that much needed vacation turn into the worst kind of nightmare imaginable. On second thought, you better just stay home and watch trashy TV instead. That is if you value your own life at all.
6. The Strangers (2008)
So you've decided to get away for the weekend to your summer house with your significant other? You're going to take the next big step in your relationship by proposing to her, but unfortunately she isn't quite sure about that kind of commitment just yet. You get irritated and angry and need time to get your anger out. Once you're back, your girlfriend has basically gone insane, telling you that there are people in masks tormenting her from outside. What then follows is an entire night full of creaking floorboards, the sound of your broken record player skipping and you accidentally blowing away your best friend with a shotgun.
To top it all off, the three masked strangers will enter your house and bind you with duct tape in the early morning hours of the following day. Your girlfriend who at this point totally could have been your fiancé will ask them "Why are you doing this to us?" and one of the masked strangers will reply "Because you were home.". Getting tormented just for sport is definitely the worst possible way to be screwed with. Then you'll get stabbed to death on your couch right before the exact same thing happens to your girlfriend who somehow manages to survive to tell the horrific tale without you.
Worst Part of Your Vacation: Proposing to your girlfriend and having her need to think about it.
5. A Perfect Getaway (2009)
So you've decided to go to Hawaii on a romantic getaway with your girlfriend? Better turn around now and go somewhere else. What would normally be an idyllic spot for some general rest and relaxation has now been replaced with two people trying to kill you. All you wanted to do was get away for a few days, before romantically proposing to her at sunset and it all has to get interrupted by attempted murder. The problem with your planned proposal now is that you've just had two serial killers put you in their cross-hairs as their next victims.
They'll ingratiate themselves into your alone time with your better half and have steadily come up with a plan to kill you and take your identities, like they did the last couple. If you're lucky and have some serious combat experience, then chances are you'll get out of there alive, but not before getting shot in the head. Having metal plates inserted into the back of your skull due to shrapnel from the war will never come more in handy. If you're a couple that gets turned on by almost being horribly murdered, then immediately after is the best time to pop the question while medics take care of you in the helicopter that flies off into the sunset.
Worst Part of Your Vacation: Having to do a Nicolas Cage impression to make conversation with a couple of psychopaths.
4. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
Are you thinking of absconding with your girlfriend and your father's money to Italy? Well don't, because you're going to get murdered on your own boat while you're there. Your father won't be happy with your "young-man antics" and send Tom Ripley (Matt Damon) to come and get you. You'll manage to make him fall in love with you, your lifestyle and your girlfriend. You'll enjoy his company for a time, but eventually like most people, Tom will become boring to you. You'll even go so far as to think he's super creepy, which he totally is.
If you do decide to tell him that, don't do it on the water with no witnesses for your own sake. Otherwise Tom will beat you to death with an oar and watch your body sink to the bottom of the ocean in your watery coffin. Once you're dead, Tom will have fully infringed upon your life by taking your own identity, and he'll start trying to shack up with your girlfriend. Hopefully your girlfriend doesn't buy it and meets someone else. Mostly this trip just sucked for you.
Worst Part Of Your Vacation: Finding out the woman you had an affair with while down there drowned herself out of jealousy for your girlfriend.
3. Psycho (1960)
If there's one person to hate for making us never want to use our shower ever again, it's Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins). He killed poor little Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) while she was in the buff. Alfred Hitchcock's villainous mama's boy brutally murders the protagonist half way through the film to the shock and surprise of many. Then he disposes of the body in the swamp by his motel. Bates looks harmless on the outside, but internally is diagnosed with a split personality disorder that his dead mother has taken refuge in. Not only does he dress up like his mother, but he also keeps her dead body around the house for conversation and company. Not to mention he's also a taxidermy enthusiast.
So he's basically just about creepiest guy you'd never want to me. That's exactly why making an overnight stop at The Bates Motel is always a very bad idea. Are you a pretty blonde who stole money from her boss? Did you get caught in a terrible rain storm and see that infamous neon sign in the distance? If so, keep going until you find other civilization. Even if you get in a horrible car accident because of the weather, that would be infinitely far better than having to die in your birthday suit from some crazy man-child.
Worst Part of Your Vacation: Having to eat gross sandwiches with Norman.
2. The Cabin In The Woods (2012)
Are you planning on getting away for the weekend to your cabin in the woods, so as to power through that future New York Times Best Seller? Do your friends all think you need a weekend of serious detox to kick your drug habbit? Do you and all of your friends somehow each all fit into specific horror movie character stereotypes? If you said yes to any one of the above, then chances are you're going to die at some point. It doesn't matter what you do, your impending death is all but assured the minute you enter that cabin. The only variable is by what classic monster will you face your demise.
Once you enter the creepy basement and touch a certain object, the given monster attached to said object will be on you shortly. While that's all going down, a bunch of people in white shirts and black ties (Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford for instance) will be watching it all go down in feverish anticipation. They'll even go so far as to have a large betting pool going on as to how you're all going to bite it, so as to appease "The Gods". All you had to do was sit at home and catch up on all the shows you're behind on, but instead you decided to go away for the weekend and sign your death sentence.
Worst Part of Your Vacation: Having to fight off a zombie with your bong that looks like a coffee mug-to-go.
1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Series (1973, 2003, 2006, 2013)
Are you planning a cross-country road trip through the US? If so, you'd be wise to avoid the state of Texas entirely. If you do decide to throw caution to the wind and go ahead with your route through Texas, chances are you'll be hung on meathooks, sawed in half or shoved into a freezer all the while being psychologically tortured by the worst kind of cannibalistic redneck family imaginable. All before this happens to you however, you're going to want to avoid being hungry. The best course of action is to bring pre-packed lunches. You and your three friends are bound to have a couple of unsavoury meals along the way, so it's best to just stick to eating from drive-thrus after you run out of your own stash of food your mother would approve of.
Does your sexually voracious blonde friend make you feel badly about yourself whenever you look in the mirror because her ridiculously hot body makes yours pale in comparison? Well don't worry for long, she'll get her throat slashed at Leatherface's dinner table. Now you can be the only woman in the picture with two guys. Things will start looking up for you until you're hiding underneath a table in Leatherface's meat cellar trying to save your boyfriend. Chances are you won't be able to save him and instead be showered with his blood as Leatherface skewers him with his chainsaw. If you still love your boyfriend however, you can still shack up with Leatherface. That is assuming he rips off your boyfriend's face and wears it as a mask to cover up his own disfigurement.
The only way you're ever going to survive a road trip in Texas is if you're a virgin and/or average looking at best. If you're not a virgin and/or hot, then you're basically screwed. That is unless you're conveniently Leatherface's cousin who for no discernible reason somehow looks twenty years younger than your actual age.
Worst Part of Your Vacation: The Stifling Heat