Of all the things to discuss about the first awesome trailer for the upcoming Michael Bay-produced, Jonathan Liebesman-directed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, it was the purist fanboys moaning about the reboot that got the most attention.
The movie has been shrouded in controversy, partly because production responsibilities are resting on Bay. Okay, so he says he's not turning the turtles into aliens anymore, but the reboot has still caused mixed reactions for Turtles lovers... And by "mixed" I mean, mixed between people hating it and people really, really, REALLY hating it...
But now we know why the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot won't suck, you should totally consider these 3 things from old-school TMNT that we reeeally need to see in the new movie to make it 100% dope. COWABUNGA!
Perhaps the most perplexing of 1980s superheroes, the sewer-dwelling, pizza-hoarding, skateboarding quartet of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has stood the test of time and remained one of the most popular kid's franchises of any decade. And that's certainly in part because of their seriously awesome gadgets.
Okay, so we already caught a glimpse of the iconic Turtles vehicle, The Shellraiser, but seriously, we'd better get some sweet Shellraiser lovin' in that TMNT reboot (the blimp wouldn't go a miss, either). The van, made by Donatello as a mode of transportation for himself and the other Turtles, was crafted from an old, abandoned subway car, and could reach around 123mph. Pretty gnarly for a banger!
With Leo driving (c'mon, he's the least likely of the lot to run something over just for shiggles), Donnie at Ops, Raph at Weapons and Mikey at Navigation, I want the heroes in a half-shell to use the Shellraiser's canon (ripe for a modern makeover!) to knock out any villains that might be coming their way... Looking at you, Shredder!
A nod to Rocksteady and Bebop
Back in 2012, Michael Bay made a statement about The Blue Door script having been scrapped. The director revealed that the "leaked script for Ninja Turtles that different sites continue to comment on was written well before I, or anyone at Platinum Dunes, was involved with the project. That script saw the shredder a long time ago."
Adding this knowledge to IMDb's cast list for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot, which has no mention of Bebop or Rocksteady, it's probably - at this point - safe to say that The Shredder's henchmen and street gang members of NYC won't be making an appearance in the upcoming reboot.
Bebop and Rocksteady, who were mutated by Shredder and constantly sent after the Turtles were used as comic relief, as their clumsy efforts to stop our heroes invariably failed. The omission of these characters in the reboot could be a clue to how dark Bay's movie is going to be, which I'm wholly into. I just hope that we get a nod to them with a subtle line of dialogue or small visual reference to show that although Bebop and Rocksteady are gone, they're certainly not forgotten!
A Bodacious Pizza Sesh
Okay, so when I was growing up, I probably took to heart a little too seriously the Turtles message surrounding pizza. Who else didn't try the fish for years because Michelangelo convinced us that anchovies are gross? And who else thought that you can eat pizza for every meal and still be buff enough to defeat bad guys in hand-to-hand combat? Yeah. But the hard-partying Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wouldn't be the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles without their pizza-gobbling ways.
Imagine Michael Bay and Jonathan Liebesman's Turtles sitting with April around the kitchen table eating pizza and telling jokes. And then imagine the self-satisfied moment that flashes across your face with a smug smile when you remember this fact that I told you: Pizza was made the Turtles' favorite food because Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird often ate it while working on the original comics.
A massive pizza-eating sesh is one of the things I'm most looking forward to in the reboot. I just hope that my local theater serves up the cheesy good stuff for the movie's release. Oh, and Turtles, if you're reading: don't forget that scheme of Shredder's, where he disguised a homing device as an anchovy to catch you guys!
Many children of the '80s remain warily on the fence about Michael Bay and Jonathan Liebesman's upcoming live-action reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But c'mon. How bad can it really be if we get to see enough Shellraiser, a nod to Bebop and Rocksteady and a totally slurp-licious pizza eating party with the heroes in a half-shell? Are you going to watch the TMNT reboot? Hit me up in the comment section below!
Don't forget - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arrives in theaters on August 8, 2014.