Right. OK. Where do I start with this? Well, this article is about a Hobbit porn parody called The Knobbit (makes total sense). As such it will be discussing things of a certain nature which some readers could find offensive/uncomfortable. On the other hand, it might make you greatly excited in ways I don't want to hear about. If that's the case, then read on, but keep your clothes on please.
So, io9 got their hands on an exclusive trailer and images for a new web-porn series developed by WoodRocket.com. Called The Knobbit, it features such characters as Dildo, Glandalph and Ball 'Em and see's our heroes uncovering the "precious" (which is a "vibrating cock ring", obviously).
Now, the trailer could be deemed slightly risque for a website where the only mass-debates usually concern Ben Affleck playing Batman. With this in mind, exercise discretion when viewing. The trailer is safe-for-work - onlookers will just think you're watching a cheap, Eastern European knock-off version of The Hobbit - however, it does feature some language which may offend those who didn't spend their adolescent years on the internet.
The webseries premieres today (the same day [The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug](movie:512310) DVD is released) and is available for free to watch on WoodRocket.com. Producer Lee Roy Myers, the mastermind behind other such works as Game of Bones and Buffy The Vampire Slayer XXX (Buffy The Vampire Layer is surely a better title?), had this to say about the series:
Obviously, it's a spoof and we had some fun with it.
Yeah, Lee, I bet you did. Check out Anthony Rosano, Seth's Beard (that's someone's name) and Violet Monroe in character below:
Of course, this isn't the first Lord of the Rings inspired porn parody to hit the web. Tolkien's fantasy epic has also spawned much imitators as The Whore of the Rings and The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String. Not that I've seen them or anything...
With free porn streaming websites gaining in popularity (or so I've been told...), these kind of fantasy and sci-fi porn parodies are apparently the only thing that's keeping the old school porn profession from financial ruin. You might not think that's a good thing, but if The Knobbit's total run time matches that of the original movie, then the actors' and actresses' stamina should certainly be commended.
What do you think? A little bit of fun, or the very destruction of our civilization manifested into a single entity? Let us know below.