Every now and then a movie comes out that’s good, but the marketing department seems to think making the name obtuse or hokey will help sales. Other times it’s just a bad movie getting an equally bad title. Either way, they’re fun.
What does this even mean? Does someone have 8 vaginas? Austin Powers in Goldmember is a more mature title.
The Constant Gardener
While we get it’s a metaphor…the image is funny. He spends all day gardening. He doesn’t stop to eat, sleep or poo. If moping and getting a replacement for your dead ex is gardening, he’s a pro at it.
A Good Day to Die Hard
Fun movies, bad titles: Die Harder, Live Free or Die Hard, A Good Day to Die Hard. Die Hard with a Vengeance was generic, but worked well enough. The titles could at least have something to do with the movies. I’d propose the 4th entry be Die Hard: Fire Sale, but that’s just me.
Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead
What sounds like a gleefully dark comedy only covers the first several minutes of the film. It’s really about kids learning responsibility, getting jobs, figuring out how to get along and all that jazz.
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Shrank. Amazing movie, but improper phrasing. Put this alongside Can’t Hardly Wait and we have a bad grammar cocktail. At least they didn’t make something called Honey I Blown up the Kid.
Quackser Fortune has a Cousin in the Bronx
This title isn’t fitting of an R-rated dramedy staring Gene Wilder, a dung-scooper who has to deal with his love moving to America.
Lucky Number Slevin
Slevin? That’s not a name or a number. Actually, it’s the name of the horse in the movie, which is random at its core. Still, I had fun.
A divorced couple tries a hand at new relationships, only to mambo together. Phffft to you, Jack Lemmon!
This Cronenberg gems is about a videogame possibly being damaged…then stuff gets weird. Still, even as a video game title, it’s pretty sad.
Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach
If the assignment title wasn’t dumb enough, the subtitle didn't do it any favors.
Rambo: First Blood Part 2
I once saw PlayStation Magazine call this Rambo Part 1: First Blood Part 2 as a joke. Let’s see. The movie containing two numbers is bit confusing to those who hadn’t heard of the first title in the series, but then they go and make all that a subtitle. Wouldn’t the next movie be called Rambo 2: First Blood Part 3? Nope. They just called it Rambo 3. I know I'll get comments explaining the logic. Bring them on!
What titles do you consider the worst? Any I missed?