Top ten worst movie accents
Hocus Pocus – Jason Marsden
Binx is a fun character and the movie is amazing, but Binx’s accent seems to cross between a European and an American one. It shifts a bit, but worse is out there…as you’ll see.
The Untouchables – Sean Connery
Sean Connery is great fun and this is a great flick, but the issue is Connery trying to hide is accent. Keeping it would’ve served him better.
Troy – Everyone Involved
Brad Pitt is American or British or just…he’s making it up. Orlando Bloon, Sean Bean, and Peter O’Toole are British. Diane Kruger is German and Eric Bana is Australian. Let that sink in.
Alexander – Angelina Jolie
More historical ones! What was maybe meant to be Greek…or possibly Egyptian…sounded like Milla Jovovich making funny noises.
Tower Heist – Gabourey Sidibe
I don’t know why the hell they decided to try and give her a Jamaican accent. Despite her skin tone, she just doesn’t strike me as Jamaican in the least. Seriously, she was born in New York.
Out for Justice - Steven Seagal
The fun part is the illusion Seagal may be from Jersey, but that’s shattered when he drops his fake accent about twenty times.
Con Air – Nicholas Cage
This was a fun movie, but the Southern thing didn’t stick 100%. My fiancé pegged it as New Orleans, so, despite the cheese, it managed.
Mary Poppins – Dick Van Dyke
Upon dropping his less politically correct real name, Penis Van Lesbian, he picked up a horrendous cockney accent for Mary Poppins. I don’t know if it’s Irish, gibberish, or a three-year-old with learning difficulties trying to grasp speech in general. Sorry. I’m too mean to poor Penis!
On Deadly Ground – Michael Caine
He’s supposed to be Texan, but quickly gives up and decides just to take his paycheck and call it a day. After all, it's a Seagal movie.
Fargo – Everyone Involved
If this movie hadn’t been made by two guys from Minnesota, essentially as a parody of Midwestern culture, it'd be considered pretty culturally insensitive. Every voice is so hammed up; it’s amazing how many people don’t realize it’s a joke/extreme exaggeration. Before anyone tries to school me on what people in Fargo actually talk like, I was born there and lived in the area 24 years. The movie is a parody.
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