ByJim DeFilippi, writer at
Jim is primarily a novelist whose fifteen books have been praised by major publications for the past twenty years. His latest novel,JESUS B
Jim DeFilippi

Distribution of Walt Disney’s animated movie “Frozen” was temporarily halted yesterday by a protest rally staged by the Amalgamated Brotherhood of Animated Movie Actors Union.

The group has vowed to end the widespread Hollywood practice of paying movie stars huge amounts of money to dub in the voices of animated characters (Kristen Bell in “Frozen,” Paul Newman and Owen Wilson as “Cars,” Ellen DeGeneres in “Nemo,” etc. etc. etc.).

The A.B.A.M.A.U. has brought suit against the Screen Actors Guild for encroachment of rights and career stunting duplicity.

In announcing this legal action, A.B.A.M.U.A. President Daffy Duck read a prepared statement that said in part: “There is ab-thooo-looot-ly no reason we personages of cartoon heritage cannot use our own voices in these films. What are we, sthooo-pid or something?”

In an attempt at quid pro quo, Duck pointed out that in a recent audition by union member Mr. Donald Duck (no relation), the veteran actor tried out for the job of dubbing in the voice of Colin Firth for his latest film, “The Railway Man.” Apparently, this risky casting decision was never seriously considered by the film’s director, Jonathan Teplitzky.

Mr. Teplitzky responded, “Perhaps the vocal talents of Mr. Donald Duck might have been put to good use in Colin’s past film, ‘The King’s Speech,’ but it simply did not have the timber and somberness needed for this part.”

In reply, Donald Duck’s futile attempt to pronounce Mr. Teplitzky’s name sprayed the entire first and second rows of press and spectators with moisture, forcing most to leave the room in order to clean themselves up.


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