ByJames M. Tate, writer at
Top Shark Cinema Writer at and Now a Movie Pilot Remora...
James M. Tate

1) Emilio Estevez and Ally Sheedy in THE BREAKFAST CLUB

When Andrew The Jock wakes up with all his stuff missing, Allison The Kook is nowhere to be found... Unless he searches skid row... And he realizes he should have dated The Princess, who currently put a restraining order on The Criminal.

2) Richard Gere and Julia Roberts in PRETTY WOMAN

An argument arises, always in the same fashion: Vivian screams at Edward that he only thinks about money... And Edward reminds Vivian what she used to do for a living.

3) John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John in GREASE

After the phenomenal flying car incident at the carnival, Danny and Sandy fly to her homestead in Australia where Danny takes up with a local gang, The Down-Unders, and acquires a beer belly. Sandy realizes she had been dating, and is now married to, a common hood. "You're not the one that I want, ew, ew, ew, honey..."

4)Better Off Dead 5)Trading Places6) Animal House
4)Better Off Dead 5)Trading Places6) Animal House

4) John Cusack and Diane Franklin in BETTER OFF DEAD

Lane and Monique would be better off never having met, because her Student Visa runs out, and he can't imagine flipping burgers in France.

5) Jamie Lee Curtis and Dan Aykroyd in TRADING PLACES

Dan and Jamie's couple will last in MY GIRL, sure, but their TRADING PLACES relationship is doomed for the same reason as number 2: His love of money and her seedy past.

6) John Belushi and Mary Louise Weller

Well let’s just say Senator Bluto and wife were doing fine until he started eating golf balls at the Country Club…This is when the gorgeous and classy Mandy Pepperidge-Blutarsky wound up realizing she could find a man with much better taste.

By James M. Tate


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