ByChris Giroux, writer at Creators.co
Movie Reviews, Top Ten Lists and Entertainment News from an Obsessive Film Fan
Chris Giroux

There seems to be no escaping Hollywood's persistence to churn-out remakes of the world's most beloved pop-culture movies, despite the criticism from fans and professional media.

Whether or not these movies should be made, doesn't appear up for discussion. They're here, and more are coming.

Here are a few remakes in development that you may (or may not) have heard about, but to ease the pain, we're casting a returning cameo we'd like included. Not really.

Jumanji

Jumanji is one of the few films on this list that would actually benefit from a reboot. But then again, who cares? The Robin Williams original made bold claims of showcasing ground-breaking visual effects, however, it fell short of anything spectacular.

Little known fact: a young Scarlett Johansson auditioned for the part of Judy Shepherd, the role awarded to Kirsten Dunst. Now that Johansson has blossomed into one of Hollywood's most sought after (and beautiful) actresses, we'd like to see her go toe-to-toe with this board game.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Image courtesy of New Line Cinema
Image courtesy of New Line Cinema

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot has seen a lion's share of hate from the turtle faithful. Issues ranging from reducing the title down to Ninja Turtles, to giving the turtles an alien origin; we just can't control our anxiety over what Michael Bay may be doing to this material.

Sam Rockwell appeared in the original live-action film playing the part of a thieving teenage goon. Rockwell hasn't grown much taller since then, but his acting chops are all grown-up.

Point Break

Image courtesy of 20th Century Fox
Image courtesy of 20th Century Fox

Point Break was a post-theatrical pop-culture phenomenon. The reboot had lost steam, until suddenly rumors of Gerard Butlers involvement surfaced in January….cueing fanboy rage everywhere.

The clear choice for a cameo appearance would have to be Keanu Reeves. Perhaps Johnny Utah could be searching the beach for that FBI badge he tossed away.

Mortal Kombat

Image courtesy of New Line Cinema
Image courtesy of New Line Cinema

Of all the videogame-based movies of the 90's, Mortal Kombat was the clear box-office winner, though, I'm not convinced that's saying much. Crappy dialogue, not enough Sub-Zero, and an unforgivable lack of spinal ripping fatalities relegated this flick into forgettable land.

Who wouldn't mind a reprisal of Christopher Lambert's ethereal Lord Raiden? But he must perform a torpedo move while yelling that nonsensical gibberish from the game. On the possibility scale: never going to happen. Kevin Tancharoen (director) has a hyper-violent vision of this franchise, which thus far, has been wildly successful as a YouTube mini-series.

The Toxic Avenger

Image courtesy of Troma Entertainment
Image courtesy of Troma Entertainment

I'm not the authority on Troma canon, but I do know there is a huge cult following behind Toxie and the eccentric co-founder of Troma studio, Lloyd Kaufman. The director/actor has appeared in many films, including the original Rocky. It's not hard to believe that he could be running around in the film (reboot) that launched his studio into the spotlight.

Scarface

Image courtesy of Universal Pictures
Image courtesy of Universal Pictures

I never thought I'd hear the news that Scarface was up for rebooting. The 1983 film starring Al Pacino, was already a remake itself. Simply put, a reboot of Scarface is proof that Hollywood are the real gangsters of our time.

There isn't a return cameo that would make any sense, but for the sake of this article, we'll go with Michelle Pfeiffer. There was hardly a moment when Elvira Hancock wasn't smoking hot, or smoking, for that matter. What happened to her anyways?

Poltergeist

Image courtesy of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM)
Image courtesy of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM)

You may not have heard that Poltergeist was receiving a reboot treatment, so you'll be even more surprised to learn how far along production is moving. Sam Rockwell, our choice for a TMNT cameo, is headlining the haunted affair that's already shooting in Ontario, Canada.

I admit, I had nightmares from the original, but mostly from paranormal investigator, Marty, ripping his face off. Did you know that it was actually Steven Speilberg's hands that performed this gory, horrific act? We need Speilberg's hands to make a cameo appearance in the reboot!

Godzilla

Godzilla is no stranger to the occasional reboot, however, the previous American attempt starring Matthew Broderick was an abomination. It appears (so far) that Warner Bros. is righting the ship with a kaiju that actually looks somewhat similar to the traditional "King of the Monsters."

We already know a monster named Hokomuto or MUTO is Godzilla's adversary this round, but King Ghidorah or Mothra would have made this film crazy epic! Are you listening Hollywood? Make this happen in the sequel.

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