If you're worried about the impending zombie apocalypse and the Armed Forces being woefully unprepared to deal with the dead walking the earth, I have comforting news: The United States military has a detailed plan of what to do in such a devastating scenario - and it's probably the coolest document ever created.
Called CONOP 8888-11 "Counter-Zombie Dominance", the plan is a thorough examination of every facet and outcome of a zombie invasion, including how to deal with Vegetarian Zombies who will, "not attack humans or other animal life" but will "eat all plant life in front of them" and cause "massive" deforestation."
Grains not brains and all that.
You can check out the report in all its detailed glory below:
So is the U.S. military genuinely worried about a zombie apocalypse? Well no, not really.
Turns out the report was created as an exercise for staff at the U.S. Strategic Command in Omaha who "looked for a creative way to devise a planning document to protect citizens in the event of an attack of any kind". As plans for nuclear and chemical threats had already been devised, a zombie attack was the preferred scenario.
Makes sense to me. "Fail to prepare, prepare to fail" is something someone probably once said to me. Imagine how dumb - and dead - we'd feel if zombies walked the earth and none of us had any clue about how to deal with it?
But now we can sleep soundly at night, safe in the knowledge the Pentagon and the might of the U.S. military machine has got our backs.
How prepared are you for the zombie apocalypse?
(Source: Foreign Policy)