ByGeoffrey Smith, writer at
Geoffrey Smith

I am not saying it's the dumbest comic-book movie ever, but it is pretty close.We can start with all the plot holes. I am a comicbook nerd and a big fan of Marvel. But it doesn't mean I always connect the films to the books. It's just a useless comparison. Yet, there are a few very important things that no director, producer or writer should change about a incredibly popular and iconic character.

Here are my reasons this movie must not exist.

Spider-man doesn't have his spidey sense. He just lost it. Even a regular person can sense a human flying on a jet powered craft, flying towards him. But Spidey didn't know what was happening. Meteorites falling from the night sky are also really hard to notice. Specially when they are crashing silently 15 feet away from you.


Look at him!
Look at him!

That's my number 1 reason. This character is one of the greatest villains in Spider-Man's universe and we can easily imagine how he looks like - big, crazy mouth, big teeth, incredibly buffed, fast and with a really evil voice. So the perfect guy for the role is that skinny boy from That 70's show. Brilliant! Not only he is bad for the role, but the CGI department did a lousy job, too. Where was the tongue? Where were the muscles? And how did Venom convinced Sandman to fight with him?


His story is incredibly shallow and impossible. He goes to a facility where they make secret experiments by simply jumping a fence. The incredibly smart scientists see there is a change in the mass, but apparently a human and a pigeon have the same mass, so no need for checking out what's going on in that pit. Then we see Sandman can fly. And the most ridiculous part is when they change the entire backstory of Spider-man. They make Sandman the person, who killed uncle Ben. WHY?! What was the point of all this. But it was all forgiven in the end.

Emo Parker

Peter became a street-dancing emo when he switched costumes. Not only that he started wearing an eye-liner, but he decided to change his haircut, do silly dance moves on the side walk, change his wardrobe and became a real douche. I guess this how evil looks like.

Spider-man crying

It's okay for a person to cry, even if he is a brave superhero. But he cried tree times in the film. Still - it could be okay. But the problem is not the tears, but the lack of jokes. This character is created to be funny, to be amusing, always talking, being wise-guy. If you read the comics you'll do it with a smile, because there always some good puns and jokes. Where were they here?

The many Plot holes

The whole film is one giant plot hole. Nothing makes sense. People change their opinion about everything like they are all bipolar. One second you love Spidery, the other you hate him. One second you want to kill him, the other his your best buddy. And there is incredibly perfect timing the whole time. From all the places the meteorite could fall, why did it fall right next to Peter. And so silently.

I honestly can't express all the hatred I have towards this movie. And I am not the only one. There are many viral videos which have hundreds of reasons why the film sucked. Then there are many negative reviews from users and critics. Yes, you'll find from time-to-time some person who says "It's better than the second one and it had so much action!", but these people probably believe the Teletubbies should win an Oscar for best screenplay of all time.

Probably Spider-Man 3 is the reason why they made a reboot of the series after just 5 years. We needed something better!

If you like the character, these are the only other motion pictures you can find. But don't worry, there are many sequels of the Amazing Spider-Man on their way. One is just a few months from appearing in theatres.

Or you can watch animated series. The 1994 series are pure genius. Many of us have grown with them and are still watching them. And they are not the only ones worth watching. Spectacular Spiderman or the 2003 new animated series are also a must-see.

This character is so big and popular, there are many stories told, but not every is worth the attention. Some of them were made just for the money, others were made to satisfy the viewers. But if you really want to see a real web-slinging adventure, just read a comicbook. You can find them online, on paper or digital.


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